March Monday thoughts

My right wrist still hurts. It happened on a Monday morning three weeks ago. I woke up and I felt pain shoot up my arm as I got up. I thought it would go away but it hasn't so I finally got around to immobilizing it last night. I'll need to see a doctor soon.

The on-going joke with folks who know about my mysterious injury is that I've been jerking off too often and much. Here's the sad thing, there certainly wasn't any jerking off that Sunday night, the night before, the week before, the month before, etc. Otherwise, it might have been worth it. Dammit!

Getting old sucks.

Other thoughts.....from news I read....

1. Yet another murder-suicide is reported. This time, it took place at a Wendy's in Florida. A guy walks in, starts blasting and then eats one himself without telling the clerk that he'd like some fries with the bullets. There seemed to have been one each week for the last month.

2. Eco-terrorists started fires that burned expensive homes in Seattle. Aren't eco-terrorists those who would sabotage corporate or political plans to wreck the environment? If so, what's the point of burning down the homes? Fires add to our carbon dioxide problem and cause the folks to seek new sources of wood for rebuilding their homes which, in turn, defeat that which the group wants to achieve. Dimwits with good intentions.

3. Iran's nutty president visited Iraq and said that "foreigners" should leave Iraq. Obviously, he meant the U.S. and its allies. What about the jihadists? These are the non-Iraqi Sunni folks who are blasting and blowing up the Shiites who are the majority in both Iran and Iraq. Presumably, these folks, being Muslim, are welcomed to practice and perfect their murderous techniques. Fuckwits.

The world is becoming a sad place. While a part of me still wants to be a father, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to bring a child into the world. Seems selfish.

....doh....

Two close friends of mine that are brother and sister lost their father last night. And their grandfather is holding on in the hospital. ....doh....

Valentine's Day...PSSSSHHHHH....

It's got to be the dumbest day around. Why do couples need to be kind to each other for one special day? What about the other 360 days? I'm taking into account each person's birthday, Christmas and the anniversary, if either remembers. I think 183 days of being nice to your mate is the minimum. For those who suck at math, that's 1 day more than half a year. Or simply, do something every other day.

So keep expectations low, smile, throw him/her a wink or two and hug each other. Every other day. Y'all should be so lucky to have someone to deal with your shit.

Another thing.... Roses and candy are so lame. Go to a flower shop, look at the flowers, pick the ones the evoke a nice memory and write it down on the card that you send along with the flowers. Pork chops, if they stuffed, are good too.

Roses....PSSSSShhhhh.......

I helped Dell

Who would have thunk it? Some Dell tech guy read my XPS comment.

Maybe Dell should comp me the laptop for helping them figure out why Vista sucks.

Absence of Football

I woke up at 930AM, 90 minutes before the alarm on my 5 year old deactivated cell phone went off. I had hoped to hear the ring tone, levitate kavallerie. It was loud and very different. I haven't figured out how to add that particular ring tone to subsequent phones.

After an hour of checking on my Vista-damaged XPS, I went to Verizon Wireless to activate my new phone, a black Chocolate. It was a nice that I only waited for 5 minutes before being helped. I told the lady that I wanted to activate my new phone and she replied "there's going to be a $20 charge." Uh.......bullshit. I am grateful that she gave me instructions to activate it at home.

So I spent the $20 on gas and 8 pieces of KFC dark meat with 4 biscuits. Half original and crispy. There was also a $2.11 cup of Dunkin Donuts too.

When I got home, Vista restarted itself and was noisily scanning for something I did to fix it. I suppose I annoyed it like a doctor would give a child an immunization shot.

It was noon and, for the first time since late August, I didn't have to call Fuzzy. There was no Sunday pre-game show on ESPN. So I watched "Dick".

Around 330PM, I moved the car and took a nice stroll home but could not figure out what to have for dinner.

Vista seemed to be well off and I surfed. I had bookmarked a wonderfully written site that I stumbled upon in December: www.f-ckingc-nts.com Yes, it is a real site. No, it's not some misogynistic site. Actually, it's written by an incredibly funny and intelligent woman who loves the word "cunt".

From there, I found a link to yet another hilarious site: www.mil-millington.com.

Great laughter. Especially in the absence of football.

恭喜发财

There's a Chinese tradition that the first thing one is supposed to do upon awaking on Chinese New Year is to put something sweet into their mouth so as to have a sweet new year.

This morning (as in every morning), it was Listerine.

I think I have a cavity now as one my upper molars is aching.

D'oh!

Cinco Anos

At the close of business tomorrow, I will have worked here for 5 years.

I just got back from an after-lunch walk as I was feeling quite stuffed. I did think about the job and what it's brought me but it was fleeting. I let random images, thoughts and memories float across the eyes.

As peristalsis kicked it, I felt better and started an internal campaign for walk more often.

I'm done raging.

hahahahahaha.....Full Tilt crashed!

Apolitical

For most of my life, that was one of many adjectives that describes me. Nowadays, I'm becoming a baby-killing-left-winger, so those hateful-deluded-right-wingers would have you think. Really, it's my watching A Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report that I've gotten more politically sensitive about this beloved country of mine.

In a CNN online article today: "Romney took aim at McCain's past record of teaming up with Democrats on campaign finance reform, immigration legislation,...an energy cap and trade-bill."

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT?

I would hope that my elected representative would work together to stamp out lobbyists whose bosses are the fucking wealthy because legislation usually don't help the public. I'm willing to bet that there isn't one $2,000+ tailored suit wearing sumbitch in D.C. working to get health insurance for the uninsured or to lower the cost of healthcare.

Both sides probably have good ideas that, if meshed together, could keep this country from being a sponge for immigrants. It's unfair to the illegals that they're doing the shit jobs that fat, lazy and poorly-educated Americans won't do. Instead of working the unpaid border patrol, pick some fucking fruits, veggies or cotton.

There's got to be something wrong with alternative fuels because only the leftists and hippies are into that shit. Conservatives don't believe in conservatism. The status quo of gas-guzzlers canNOT be messed with. We must preserve and CONSERVE our right to maintain our addiction. What a travesty to see a fucking hippy driving them fairy-ass gas-sippers! Real God-fearing-STD-carrying men drive pick-ups and monster trucks!

The essence of outsourcing is someone offering to do it better and cheaper. Broke-ass foreigners, who worked hard to earn their degrees, are willing to get the job done even at a lower price. But these stupid jerks wished they was Americans so they takes our American jobs that I can't do. That's just messed up. Go back to where yous was and learn to love our American french fries!

While Rodney continues to be an idiot and get hisself in trouble, his famous question remains unanswered and ignored: why can't we just get along?

"Seriously" - asked/answered/commented by Meredith Grey

Obama, Hilary and Johnnie E were getting along. Then BLAM!. Each one of them wanted to the choke the shit out of the other. John McC is getting blasted for wanting to work with his fellow Americans? While I might not agree with a bunch of his positions, I don't see how I'm convinced to vote for Mighty Cap Gun Hunter Mitty.

I'm secretly wishing that Bloomie and Hagel will get together and make a run for 1600 PA Ave.

In the meantime, I continue to daydream like John Dorian.

So far, so good....

It is now the 40th hour mark. I am faring much better than last year. It's probably because my will is stronger. Though I will admit to wanting to just give it up for a smooth toke or five.

Today's lunch coma is more pronounced that yesterday's. I think it's the body wondering where all the nicotine and seeing as there's no new supply, it's allowing the body to power down. In fact, I nodded off several times while writing this.

I'm awake now as work is slowly piling up. The new guy is taking a different approach this year and promised the Penguin that we'll put on $100 (a personal goal that I reached by June 30, 2007). However, given the current environment, the $50-$50 split may not be so easy. Plus, given my competitiveness, I'd probably want to close at least $75 just to keep my shine.

It's mighty cold today, so please get wrapped up.

Last day

And I'm actually in the office at 815AM. That's because I got home at 700AM this morning after yet another marathon of rubbing tiles with the family, 16 on both Saturday and Sunday nights. Strangely, I'm awake but feel quite wired and I'm abstaining from caffeinated beverages. I think the four cups of noir is still working.

It's a beautiful morning with the overnight showers having moved into the Atlantic Ocean. The cold crisp winter air is so clean that I'm filling my lungs. But not fully. I'm quite motivated this morning to finally quit smoking. In the past, I've always rationalized that I'm only going to stop as I will smoke again after certain events. However, recent research has moved me towards fully embracing the complete and total cessation of the habit.

It will certainly be a trying January 2008 as last January was really fucking hard. I wanted to rip people's faces off, especially in the office. I think the difference is I wanted to stop last year whereas I believe I NEED to stop. Period.

So I ask my friends who read this to bear with me and to encourage me to stay clean. Thank you in advance. Have a wonderful forthcoming 2008!

The Rationale:

• Life gets better because we become older, supposedly wiser and more aware.
• Smoking will shorten it worse than the other diseases because it was self-inflicted.
• Don't be a stupid ass anymore.

Cheers!

This Year's Eve

Will be the 21st consecutive Eve on which I could be partying. There's a slight possibility that I will. However, I also don't want to do anything. The proverbial "been there, done that" is making a strong case to just stay in and relax. Perhaps if the Eve were a Thursday, I would probably get myself out there and tear it up a bit. One day to recover isn't a lot at my age. I don't want to have residuals on Wednesday as I stroll into the office. It doesn't help that I haven't done any work since the end of November.

Hopefully, I'll get the next 3 DVDs from Netflix on Monday. I might just open a bottle of my favorite cabernet and fire up a ribeye. That's sounding like a good idea.

What are fellow bloggers doing this coming Monday?

Ho ho ho...hum....

Just two months ago, the whips were cracking and we were behind budget. Was told to put $32.5 on, so my boss and I got cracking. Three weeks later, we had $30.5 set up. Booya!

Right after Thanksgiving, the powers-that-be must have ingested some funky-ass grub laced with retardness because they told us to do nothing until 2 January 2008. Huh?

Apparently, the loan-to-deposit ratio will get skewed and that will mess with some other metric and blah, blah, blah.

Since then it's been reading the New York Times, working on various levels of difficulty of Sudoku, Full-Tilting, blogging, online shopping and chatting. Also, there are those silly applications on Facebook to play with and Stumble, a great nifty toolbar thingy to numb the ennui.

Even then, there's only so much anti-short-attention-span pills one can take.

While I shouldn't complain about having to do nothing and getting paid, the crappy part is having to suit up Monday to Thursday to do nothing. Boo!

Happy Holidays!

Update

While they've hid the sign, the 2-for-$3 sale was still on. And they corrected the $3.29. I paid $3.25 for two sausage egg mcmuffins today at that silly McDonald's in Chinatown.

YAY!

Subway Sardines

Four years ago, I left Manhattan to become a Brooklynite again. The daily commute was easy as it is 1 local and 3 express stops. My hours were 9 to 5, then 9 to 6 but it didn't bother me. Occasionally, I'd quip about the funk of getting onto the express train. I thought it was crowded then.

Holy smokes! It's much worse today. I'd estimate a 25% increase, easily. As I was filing up the staircase this morning, I wondered if there was an opposite or negative or mirror word for "serendipity". I searched for a word while musing if moving work hours to 830-530 was actually an unintended good thing but suck balls because:

-I grown fond of sleeping and am often late. I stroll in around 930 and could care less what they say;
-being on the platform at 740AM under the new hours was crowd-light and, occasionally, I saw my cousin taking her daughter to school; and,
-there was a cutie who I think I knew from grade school but couldn't be sure. Eventually, she stopped showing up and I presumed that she moved.

Since Monday, I found myself back on the old 9-to-5 schedule AND when I was on time. Holy smokes, it was packed.

What will it be like in another 4 years? I would dread having to push myself to 8 to 6 hours just the avoid the morning rush.

Who saw Nip/Tuck last night? Aren't the writers doing a fabulous job this season? Also, which Beauty and the Geek would you vote for? It's a toss-up for me.

McDonalds Update

I finally made it to the other McDonalds this morning. I didn't see a sign up so I asked the woman behind the counter if the special was still on. This is her reply:

"Yes, but it's 2 for $4 here."

Wonderful!

Chinatown McDonalds

This morning I went to the McDonalds on Bowery Street to get 2 sausage egg mcmuffin for $3 as has been advertised on television. When the manager (so she seems since she wasn't sporting any standard fry girl or big mac gear) told me the cost was $3.57, I knew something was wrong. Despite a large sign behind the counter clearly stating that it was 2 for $3, she said that the register was showing $3.29 plus $0.28 in tax. She couldn't do anything about it but said that I could order something else or pay $2.59 for one sandwich.

Since it's been a while, I paid the $3.57. Plus, my friend rolled her eyes and said "it's only 30 cents more." Still, it's the principal. When I got home, I realized that I should have asked for a receipt.

I'm going to the other McDonalds in the Chinatown tomorrow morning to see if they're charging $3.57 too. If so, I'm definitely asking for a receipt.

Two fingers in the nose and pull...

I want to rip this guy's face off this morning. The sonofabitch doesn't seem to want to do any critical credit analysis of proposals written up by myself or my boss or my other sales colleagues. Rather, his modus operandi is to point out negative comments from external sources and to embellish with his broken English. How the fuck are we going to get things done if he "recommends" deals but litters his write-up with fuck-shit-up bombs? This guy doesn't seem to understand nor grasp the idea that if deals get done and the portfolio grows, everyone gets paid. Stupid fuck.

By the way, his name is Geoffrey. I think it means "Get fucked by me" and "I'm just a cocksucker." Either way, I'll gladly welcome suggestions on how to rearrange his fucking face and/or to boot him from the company.

0.8 Chic

As usual, I glance around the subway car to see what folks are there and what they might be doing. Then I return to reading the Times. This morning, a mother was nervously watching three kids (presumably hers since they looked varied in age). Upon my arrival, I glimpsed a woman dolled up with neatly coiffed hair just above her set scarf over her peacoat shouldering her Tumi (I'm guessing here) tote bag while donning jeans and pointed shoes. As my standards are low, I'd probably hit it.

Going with the exiting flow, I found myself behind her and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't hit it. Why? Because she didn't smell nice. In fact, she didn't have any scent to go with her chic-ness. Thus, 0.8 is subtracted.

As some friends told me once, you need to have standards, even the bare minimum. For me, it would be a mild and positive scent.

The Force wasn't strong enough until...

I accosted these rebel scums...

Threatening them with imprisonment, I was bribed....


Then I needed a cigarette...

Happy Halloween!

Da Duck gets LAMER...

In today's USAToday (online edition), I read this:

"President Bush accused Democratic lawmakers on Friday of wasting time by passing legislation to expand children's health coverage, knowing that he would veto it again. At the same time, he criticized Congress for failing to approve spending bills to keep the government running."

Let me see if I got my politics and angles correct...

Republicans are for a smaller government and lower taxes. Why then is he spending lots of our tax dollars to build the government, entailing an excessive amount of bureaucracy? Furthermore, a shitload of money is shifted to defense from programs that help our fellow Americans. So....why won't this fuckhead expand health coverage to our impoverished kids?

Possible explanation...
He is spending stupendous amounts of money (without raising taxes, I'll get to this later) on defense so that terrorists can't harm our sick and needy kids. He is protecting these kids' rights to suffer from (i) the lack of medical treatment and (ii) repetitive Nyquil/Robitussin dosing. To emphasis his benevolence, he has blocked or severely limited research into promising stem cell developments to cure sicknesses and diseases. The voice of God in his gut told him that he is the Decider and so he hath decided that these needy Americans need his ignorance and neglect to understand the suffering of Jesus Christ. After all, his evangelical base tells him that Rapture is soon upon us and that these ailing fools will be amongst the first welcomed into JC's bosom.

If the Rapture doesn't come for several decades, the neglected children will surely grow up and become a part of the massive labor force dedicated to paying off the debt burden he hath decided to unleash onto all Americans.

He is the coolest and smartest deciding fucking Duck. EVER!

Boston Legit

Right after watching Infernal Affairs 2 and 3, I popped open a Blue Moon and kicked back to watch Beauty and The Geek and Boston Legal that I DVR'ed. The smooth buzz came on just before Boston Legal started.

I am a fan of Spader's Shore. When the alchyhall hit, my random thoughts gathered and formed dreamlike profiles. Shore's current (and past) infatuation, Lorraine, reminds me a woman whose neck and legs, have delighted my innards, and she is also in the law business. I don't speak gibberish when around her but I so dig her being a blue-collar football-loving appropriately-cussing babe.

Shore's boss, Shirley, continues to evoke comparisons with a beloved friend who likes to control her environment. And similarly, she's in a relationship where she's "allowing" herself to be swayed by "allowing" him to be there. Regardless, there's a glow and the incandescence is growing. Cheers!

Certainly, the alcohol was flowing as I thought about how I was a bitch to someone recently. Just Friday night, I made a comment into space and she claimed that she wasn't a culprit. I rolled my eyes and said "I wasn't talking to you...the world doesn't revolve around you...it ain't all about you." I wondered if I should apologize.

As I write this, my feeling is: she can bite me. The infatuation is gone and I enjoyed it while it lasted. I won't "allow" myself to be warped by her. Otherwise, my private "Shirley" would slap me upside my head.

Movie review:
Infernal Affairs 2: wasn't a bad movie; reminded me a bit of Michael Corleone's consolidation of power
Infernal Affairs 3: should have been called "Madness Descent" and was sort of all over the place.

Kelly Chen is fantastically cute. Sammi Cheng was cuter when she was fuller. The American version sucked.

OMG, it's ONJ!

"A place where nobody dared to go, The love that we came to know They call it Xanadu

And now, Open your eyes and see, What we have made is real, We are in Xanadu

A million lights are dancing, And there you are, A shooting star, An everlasting world, And you're here with me, Eternally

Xanadu, your neon lights will shine, For you, Xanadu

The love, The echoes of long ago, You needed the world to know, They are in Xanadu

The dream, That came through a million years, That lived on through all the tears, It came to Xanadu

A million lights are dancing, And there you are, A shooting star, An everlasting world, And you're here with me, Eternally

Xanadu, Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu
Xanadu, Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu

Now that I'm here, Now that you're near in Xanadu
Now that I'm here, Now that you're near in Xanadu
Xanadu..."

Ecstatic nostalgia. In friggin HD too!

The Force is with Me

TK0816 Reporting for Imperial duty...



What is your purpose here and where is your identification?



Freeze Rebel scum!



It just feels great to have gotten it done in a total of 3 afternoons. Many thanks to my namesake for his attention to detail and taking time from his family to do most of the work on this project. Cheers!

Becoming a StormTrooper

May the Force be with my namesake who is helping me to build my StormTrooper outfit.

Here are some pictures of the progress:









I should be a fully functional StormTrooper next Sunday.

Standards

I was told that I was acting very weird this morning. To top it off, "DAMN" was used to emphasize the particular degree of my weirdness. I don't mind these remarks and usually revel in them. However, I'm a bit more than annoyed.

It started with remarks presuming my being hungover today from yet another bout of unrestrained boozing. After the second swat of the allegations, it dawned on me that there exists a mental profile of me being a habitual booze-master. As I do enjoy my drinks with a certain passion, I am far from the daily lush. As it continued, I got the impression that I was being judged by a "I go near the fence but wouldn't dare touch it nor climb over it" person. In other words, a fucking talker and an err-on-the-safe-side person.

Grrrrr....I dislike these hide-behind-conservative-values folks who live vicariously through others' exploits and adventures while covertly wishing they had an ounce of moxie but overtly showing disdain and criticism. The top blew when it was asked "r u ok today? u wanna talk?"

Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. Maybe they're concerned. Maybe I am a lush.

Uh...fuck no. I have fun the way I like it. I'll apologize if it hurts anyone or anything. And thinking back on this person, I haven't judged them at all for the stupid shit they've done. Frankly, they should be the last to judge given their current state of flux. Hell, a drink or five would probably help them to see shit better and to express themselves.

Wanker.

Reconstruction

Weeks later, the folks are still trying to get their lives back together.

The city, state and federal government and their silly agencies haven't really helped. My friend's cousin's house (the one with the folks on their roof) got a measly $150 per person in the house. The rest of the money probably went to government cronies.

Firing Blanks

That's how I would characterize the bank I work for. Or "All bark and no bite."

I'm now back from a seemingly long vacation which started the second half of August with one day in the office and the next at the U.S. Open. followed by Labor Day weekend.

While I was at the Open, management hired someone to be my new boss, which explains the exile (or banishment) to the 3rd floor. It is now 10:05AM and he's NOT here. Hahahahahahaha......

I was just remarking to co-workers that he wouldn't last 3 months. One said 2 months. It appears that we both may be wrong as it's the 2nd day and I haven't seen him yet.

Also, my former boss appears to be competing with me, as if I didn't have enough competition from the LA office. Such geniuses!

The daily mindfuck is offset by the coming of the football season. Booya!

Pai Gow

My vacation started the moment I left the office today. I thought I would stay in tonight to catch up on television shows on my DVR. Around 10PM, I was utterly bored, so I went out to Chinatown to meet up with my cousin. A few beers later, I was watching a bunch of Chinamen, who got paid today, gather around a table to play Pai Gow. I had nary a clue what was going on but continued to watch.

Holy shit! These folks were flinging around $20s, $50s and $100s. It reminded me of an incident from college during freshmen year. My roommate was taking Sociology 101 and showed me an article that said "It is more natural for a Cantonese to gamble than it is for a baby to drink milk."

DOH!

Tornado!!!

Yup, that's right. A tornado touched within 100 yards of my building early this morning. Here are some pictures from my window.

There's no train service so it looks like I'll be working from home.

Over-protective mom

Yesterday, I had dim-sum lunch with a friend who recently came back from a project in Florida. He told me a wonderfully funny story that I thought I'd share with you.

First, the background stuff for context. I was telling my friend about the difficulties that my 14 year old nephew was experiencing growing up as his mom is so crazy that she follows him everywhere. She walks him to and from school. She'll watch him play handball all day at the park. She's employing a whole bunch of counter-sneaky measures against him. The thing is that he's a good kid.

My friend then says that folks he met in Florida said that moms have an affinity for their sons and dads for their daughters. A neighbor/friend of his host in Florida is very over-protective of her 13 year old son and almost indifferent towards her recently born daughter. She'll come over to the host's place throwing down cocktails while toting the baby. Once, she even left the baby in front of the fake fireplace to go smoke pot upstairs. Not that she doesn't love her daughter, she's crazy about her son.

So crazy that she goes through his stuff, his myspace page and deploys various intelligence-gathering schemes. She once asked her son if he had sex to which he answered no. She pushed on the matter by saying that she could have him tested to find out if he had indeed had sex. A blatant lie by an overzealous and loving mother. At the point, he stammered and said that he's done other things but did not have sex. Again, she pushed for the truth and insisted that there are tests that can prove if he's a virgin or not. That's when he blurted out that he "beats his meat".

The mother wanted to laugh and puke but didn't. When the son walked away, she was gagging.

If my friend reads this, please feel free to correct my recollection of this awesomely funny story.

7th Book

I finished the seventh and final book of the Harry Potter series. J.K. Rowlings did a nice job wrapping up lots of loose ends. Only four notable "good" characters die, one in the escape and three during the shoot-out. Spoiler alert: the very last chapter takes place 19 years later.

Yet another step back

After finding a good parking spot two blocks from the subway entrance, I made my way to the station with a small umbrella as the regular large one was already in the office. With music pumping and my heart rate jumping, it was wonderful to soak in the cool humidity. Yes, I do dig this humidity because it's cool. A bit cooler would be nicer.

The R train comes in and there are plenty of seats but I choose to stand as I'm engrossed with the news. As we pull into 59th Street, there's an N train waiting for us. Nice! I make my way across the platform and into the train. As always, I make my way to the middle so as to not block the area by the doors. Plus, there's usually room and, if the air con is on, it's cooler. As I turn to my right, this young man gets up from his seat as it seems he just realized that he needed the R train that I just got off. I stop my advance to let him out.

Immediately, a young Asian (I hate this word as chances are he was Chinese) boy makes for the seat and get seated. Just then this older Mongolian-looking thrusts herself into the seat and with a right hip-check nudges the boy between her and the woman sitting at the end. I didn't think much of it and I made my way to the roomy middle. Mongola (as I shall call the older woman) completes the bum-rush and the kid is forced out of the seat. Damn!

Other folks were shaking their heads but did nothing. I think the woman at the end said something but Mongola didn't respond as she probably didn't speak English. Mongola seemed to possess a combination of "I'm older, respect me", "fight for it and it's yours" and "I don't give a rat's ass". For the next three stops, she held her position at Queen Toad on the lilypad which included leaning against the guy next to her (he fell asleep after shaking his head at her).

What's a witness to do?

P.S., where credit is due

Armin Van Buuren came to town last Friday. He spun at McCarren Pool Park in Brooklyn and did a fantabulous job. Jennifer Rene, Susanna and Rank 1 were his guest performers. Unlike his set at the Tobacco Warehouse last year, he only spun for 4 hours (6PM - 10PM) this time around. Nevertheless, it great.

Photos were taken by my friend Pimpcess (aspiring future wife of AVB). Thanks!

Credit doesn't deserve credit

It's frightening when the answer to this question "Are people really that stupid?" is an emphatic "Yes!". This is probably the worst week at work in the 4.5 years I've been here. Multiple closings happened almost simultaneously and the folks in Credit are claiming ignorance, wielding their ugly wrenches to stall the closing engines and whining about semantics. I especially laugh at the last part given how poor their English is. (Side note: bad and funny as Ebonics may be, at least it's understandable.)

The general manager is going to have a massive conniption when he gets back on Monday. A part of me is worried that he might fire me because he's a chickenshit punk-ass who believes that we should be safe rather than sorry. Unfortunately, this strategy doesn't really work in today's banking industry as the bank is now sorry for being safe. Furthermore, he's given Credit too much power/oversight to cripple the sales folks from growing the bank.

Six months of not having to work could be fun. Actually, three months as I would need to get a gig by the end of the fifth month.

Still deluded...

Does our President realize he is a Lame-Ass Duck? For all of his gut-advised-by-God-feelings to lead this great nation of ours, why are we so disliked by the rest of the world and our own citizens are clashing with each other? Surely, he will have a lasting legacy as being among the worst leaders of this country rather than the delusions of grandeur when took over the Oval.

If I called for a revolution, I will surely be monitored by the government for subversive activities despite my guaranteed right to voice my disagreements and grievances of how my government is being run. The near-mockery that is Washington clearly cannot continue as I am sure I am not among the few who seeks drastic evolution of mindset in our leaders.

Frankly, I'm hoping Bloomberg will change his mind, throw $500 million into a campaign and win the 2008 presidency. He's done a pretty good job with New York City. I like his shun-the-lobbyists and his we-need-to-fix-this-mess mentality.

Run Mike Run.

Harry Potter

I was invited to a private viewing of the fifth episode of Harry Potter tonight. I brought along my nephew as he grew fond of the books I had given him to read. Like him, I wasn't crazy about the movie but did like the direction it was going. Definitely darker.

The director did a wonderful job with Dolores Umbridge. I hated her so much as it brought back a few uncomfortable memories. I do relate somewhat with Harry's plight and was quite annoyed with his constant whining and selfish acts. I suppose I was the same at that age but I can't quite recall the memories to nullify the current bitching of those bitching days.

It seemed like the children and teens in the audience enjoyed the movie. Hopefully, the next installment will be much better, in my eyes. I am looking forward to receiving the last book a few days after its release. I already read the spoiler which many have disavowed.

I don't recommend reading any reviews of the movie or book as the power of suggestion is much too great and will likely swing your opinion.

Enjoy the movie. And book.

Spoiler: Voldemort kills someone. As if you didn't already know.

Kudos!

Mika Brzezinski chose NOT to do the story on Paris Hilton which MSNBC's producer had as the lead. She took shit from her colleagues but I'm very proud of her for standing her ground on trying to relay real news. She tried to burn the story but was stopped. Later, she got up and shredded the story.

You go girl!

To see it on YouTube, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VdNcCcweL0

So tired........

Public Service Notice: Always check to see if your flight is on time or delayed.

My friends and I learned the hard way last night after we got to the airport. Our flight was delayed from a scheduled 1030PM until an actual 200AM. Had we known, we would have gone into San Francisco for additional eats instead of lounging on the gate's uncomfortable seats.

Coffee is not helping and I'm so ready to pass out. Tired enough to not even have dinner and just sleep.................

h3h, I wasn't able to take as many pictures as I would have liked because the batteries died. But I did get some. We'll talk about it when we get together.

For now, I'm out of this friggin office and go home to bed.

Prison Envy?

Lindsay Lohan crashes her car at 530AM and an usable amount of what appears to be cocaine is found. She isn't arrested as she is taken to the hospital to treat minor injuries. The authorities will be charging her with DUI with the arraignment date of August 24th. Think she's miffed or even jealous that former BFF Paris is going to joint and getting lots of attention?

Perhaps. Maybe she's just 20, stupid and the blond dye is affecting her neural connections. Then again, I'm older and know better, sometimes.

Satan made me do it

Eva Maudlin claims that Satan made her husband, Joshua, put their recently arrived two-month daughter in the microwave for 10 to 20 seconds. For reasons unknown but for the Maudlins, Satan did not like Joshua becoming a preacher. Seems the Horned One felt threatened.

How dare they blame their cowardly problems on a man-made fantasy that is Satan? If I were Satan, I'd probably whisper in God's ear: "Dude, that's fucked up. You gave him Free Will. I don't want him in Hell."

Horrible...

I'm reading "God Is Not Great" right now. The essential premise of the book is that God is man-made. Thus, religion was created in the heady days to conveniently serve those purveyors of the revelations while keeping the masses under control. As such, religion is a psychological poison.

This is so clearly demonstrated in the atrocity known as "honor killing" whereby a 17-year old Kurdish female was beaten, kicked and stoned to death while others (including the police) looked on because some relatives believed she shamed the family. You can read it on cnn.com's main page.

Such brutality based on outdated stupidity is still tolerated. I once read that a woman was ordered gang-raped by the village elders for a supposed shame by her brother. Just fucking gruesome!

Filthy pigs! Yes, it's a double-entendre on those fucks!

The Crazies

Coincidences are just coincidences, not the flicks of some deity's finger.

As I came to highly respect Gene Simmons for his monogamous devotion to the mother of his two children for 23+ years, the season finales of Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy dealt with the the crazies of relationships, marriage and parenthood. Surely, a coincidence.

This leads me to want to believe that if there was a God its greatest feature is humor regardless of the situation's severity.

Crazy huh?

Incredulous!

Paris' sentence was halved to 23 days because of good behavior, which was showing up at court on time. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One is supposed to be at court on time.

Newsworthy? Like, OMG!

The latest bullshit report from Hollywood is that Paris is emotionally distraught over her being sentenced to 45 days in jail. It seems that a psychiatrist has recommended that the judge be more lenient since Paris cannot fathom the "cruel and unwarranted" punishment of her violating her DUI probation. It's so bad that she cannot take the witness stand in a $10 million defamation lawsuit against her.

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*

It would be great if Penn & Teller, who have a show on Showtime called "Bullshit!", would devote a show on her blatant stupidity and arrogance to be treated any more special than the regular Jane.

I can understand leniency if she had reported to the alcohol or consultation meeting(s) as required during her probation. But she didn't. Furthermore, she showed up late to her hearing; thus, costing the state time and money as if being fashionably late was a cool thing in court.

I think it's unfair that she will get special treatment in jail by being away from the general population. Unless, she is put in solitary confinement to work on her emotional duress and to put the little hamster between her ears to work. She's probably going to get her ass kicked but life is cruel.

Paris, grow up. Stop being a spoiled brat. Take these knocks as the nothing you bring to society. It's only 45 days.

Arnold, don't pardon her. Save it for someone who really deserves it.

On the way home...

Two young ladies were talking behind before they gradually passed me and I turned right into my building....

Girl 1: Yeah
Girl 2: Yeah, *giggles*
Girl 1: Okay
Girl 2: You know it gets better
Girl 1: Yeah?
(they're walking besides me now)
Girl 2 (short blond): Yeah, it gets interesting
Girl 1 (tall blond): How so?
Girl 2: *giggles*, he took my bra off with my shirt on while we were watching the movie
Girl 1: Really? In the theater?
Girl 2: Yeah. *giggles*
Girl 1: Sounds like you had fun.

Girl 2's date has skills.

Batting .500

My car is due for maintenance, especially the suspension, as it's been riding a bit rough and I've been uneasy. So I ordered the shocks and 2 tires last weekend and the presumption that my mechanic would be able to work on them during the week and next. But he has a 735i sitting in his driveway that's waiting a special part from Germany, which hasn't arrived as of this morning.

So I went to his place to get the 2 tires and then off to the guy who referred me to him to swap out the front tires and place the others on the rear and the spare. Turns out the two I'm changing were near toast. DOH! Now I have to order another 2 tires and go back to the guy. However, the ride home felt really nice and I'm regaining the confidence of my tank.

I needed to do laundry this weekend. I left the office early on Friday and was going to get it done that night but the DVR was threatening to delete recorded programs soon. I figured I had a few more days of backup and pushed it to Saturday.

Saturday came and went just like that! Poof! So I decided that I would wake up early Sunday, do laundry and then head to my mechanic's place.

HA! I was watching the Latin Divas of Comedy until 3AM. Here are some choice lines from the show:

1. When a woman is over 30, dating is really interviewing
2. Women should understand that men cannot be changed; men like to be petted and cuddled because they're babies
3. The stocky diva said losing 10 pounds means taking a really good shit
4. Mami, papi, I'm a lesbian, pass the salt
5. Ay, his body hair was so thick that when he took his shirt off, it was like velcro

Laundry is done but I haven't put them away yet. They're folded however. I'm listening to Tiesto's "In The Dark". Nice rock/trance tune. The singer has an Alyson Moyet-like voice but her name is Christian Burns. I'm going to buy the CD from Amazon.

Neato!

My friend gave me the link to her blog here and I'm blown away by it. It's wonderful to get a glimpse inside her head even though I've nary a clue about some of the subplots. Thanks h3h!

Holy Bananas!

First, we should mourn those unfortunates who were killed on the Virginia Tech campus yesterday.

Second, we need to alleviate grief and to soothe simmering anger, especially that which will be directed at the "Asian" folks.

Inevitably, there will be a big racial backlash from this tragic event. It should be clear that the shooter was a South Korean resident alien majoring in English at the school. He was probably depressed and homesick. I hope folks won't start looking at "Asians" with a particular opinion as it won't bode well for harmonic relations.

I'm betting that there's a high possibility that the killings weren't racially motivated. As such, people need to realize that each race has their bad apples who don't represent the population. Having said that, I hope everyone can chill and collect their thoughts.

Aging

I sense and feel a need to get at least three hours of sleep once I get home tonight as I'm sure I can't hack the party til dawn anymore. I was quite exhausted when I saw Above & Beyond last fall sans the chemical support.

I would certainly like to see Armin until he wraps up in the morning. Hopefully, Mother Nature will be kind and dump more than a forecasted 6 inches of powder. It would an awesome scene as I trek home in the morning.

Three Must-Sees

1. Can't Buy Me Love

2. Powder

3. The American President

If it's on, it getting watched until the credits come on. No. 3 was on the other night.

Just enough.

I think it's time to stop paying the mental tax at the prison-bank. Last October, the controller asked me to find and close $25 million so that the prison hits budget for the first time in three years. I struck the final deal on December 22nd and set in motion to close on December 29th. The genius that is the warden asks the controller to ask me to delay the close until the 2nd or 3rd of the year.

But why? Why not be above budget? Cuz they wanted to start 2007 with a bump. Okay, I push the close to the 3rd.

Guess what happened?

On the last business day of the year, a bunch of repayments come in after 3PM. I left the office at 245PM and return 830AM on the 2nd to find out that the portfolio started 2007 at $1.8 million below budget.

Fucking warden shoots himself and everyone in the foot with that genius move.

January was a rough month as I stopped smoking. Yes, I stopped but haven't quit as I know I will smoke a few here and there before I die. The prison job really tempted me to run out and buy packs of smokes just to deal with their stupidity. Now the warden is feeling the heat and making demands to meet half of 2007's budget by May.

Of course, there's no incentive other than the threat of being fired. Even that threat is toothless as I know they need me given the relationships I've built up over the years and my steady production. I keep telling myself that it's cushy as long as I continue to deliver. Just enough.

Just enough.

To get the warden and his mistress fired.

Just enough.

Out Goes One, Another Comes In

It's been 36 hours and I'm holding up fine, especially compared to last year. I'm quite sure I'm ready this time around. Already the skin tone change is noticeable, especially in the hands. Almost as if it were self-moisturizing.

During the break, I got hooked on the show "Beauty and the Geek". I just caught a preview of some of the contestants on tonight's season premiere. It doesn't look as good as the previous season's but I'm still going to watch.

Change is suppose to be good.....

Drew BLEW!

I don't know what Bill Parcels sees in this dolt called Drew Bledsoe. The SOB is a football idiot. If anyone saw the game, the Cowboys got lucky with a pass interference call that gave them 1st and Goal with 37 seconds left. On first down, he missed T.O. on the inside slant. On second down, the dumb fuck throws it to an Eagle who races 102 yards for a touchdown. Twice he underthrows T.O. which turned the ball over. The second one would have been a TD if the fuck had tossed it a little harder and into the corner.

Okay, there's got to be some mitigation. Dallas corners got burned a few times and the offensive line did not protect the dumb fuck. Still, the opportunities were wasted when Lady Luck took some pity on DumbFuck Drew.

Drew, if you ever read this (highly unlikely), you suck. Yes, I can't do what you do but you get paid the big fucking bucks and you fucked up. Yeah, I'm a very sore Cowboys fan. Maybe you might talk to Hall of Fame QB Troy Aikman who didn't have the mobility in the pocket and ask for some pointers.

Grrrrrr....

Still, it was a thrilling game.

31 Days

On 17 February, I was stupid and slightly egged on by my cousin. I punched the accelerator and shot up to 100mph for only two seconds when, around the turn, I saw Fuzzy. Knowing I was busted, I pulled over and got my ticket. Luckily, I had seen enough of those police chase to know better and cooperated. The officer was kind enough to not lock me up for the weekend.

On 23 June, I pled guilty to the charge to which I was fined and had my license suspended for 31 days. Today, I went to DMV to settle the matter. Though they didn't take my license, I am not allowed to drive until 26 August. That's okay with me since I'll be coming back from my Mexican vacation that night.

The lessons learned here are: (1) there's no need to speed; (2) always cooperate and (3) it's gonna cost you over the medium term. Besides, noone can outrun a bullet or the transmission from the police's radio.

Drive safely y'all!

Into the Looking Glass

Oh My God! High Definition television is amazing! Last night, I enjoyed my first sporting event in full as the Miami Heat beat the Dallas Mavericks for its first franchise championship. My friend, PastryDad, is probably right that HDTV was made for football. Can't wait.

In the meantime, I'll just blind myself playing Dynasty Warriors on the PS2 connected via component cables. Additionally, I may watch my entire DVD collection again. Note: there is a noticeable distinction between S-video and MONSTER component.

If the price is right, go for your own plasma. Also, I recommend picking up a Terk HDTVa antenna if you live within 20 miles of the broadcast tower. There is no need to pay monthly fees of $60 or more when a $40 antenna will get you over-the-air HD signals. I can understand when the damn cable companies transmit everything in HD.

For now, WOW!

Oxy- and Regular Morons

The bank I work for is falling apart and management is still reluctant to acknowledge the fat lady is warming her throat. Their strategy is to avoid risk as opposed to managing it. It is understandable that the banking environment in Asia is quite different from ours but the bigwigs presume that the U.S. should follow their model. Psssh......unleash 1.3 billion people to capitalist forces and lenders can demand whatever collateral and conditions they want. But not here!

Nevertheless, they have big eyes for the U.S. operations because of how well China is performing as the RMB keeps a-rolling. And cuz they're kind of a big schizz-nizz yonder. But not here!

The GM, who I once respected, is no more than a punk who is so scared of HK that he doesn't have any balls to do anything other than bust chops. I figure his strategy is to push as many people in front of the bus before it's his turn. He talks all beaucoup shit about how the boat is sinking but he won't give us the tools to plug the holes. Frankly, it's like he hands out plastic knifes or wooden chopsticks and sends us off to a gunfight with our competitors. He is afraid to make simple business decisions and defers to HK, which requires a near full-blown write-up.

HK takes it sweet-ass time and asks ten thousand inane questions which then makes us look like fools, half-baked and impotent. I worry that my association with the bank is hindering my jobhunt because the word is out that the bank is a tease, a pump-faker, a charlatan or a MORON.

So I am a moron.

Shot in the Foot

Anyone can imagine the throngs of people trying to get to work each morning whether by train, bus or car. It's packed and some nerves are frayed. I was late this morning waking up and I wait patiently to get on the train because there's soothing music playing on my iPod. As the local train I was on approached the station, the express train came rumbling in as well.

A woman, perhaps in her late 50s or early 60s, dragged her, presumably, granddaughter out of the local train and rushed to the doors of the incoming express. When the doors opened, she forcefully tried to get into the train pass other waiting commuters and exiting passengers. When told by the person she pushed aside to take it easy, she smiled and kept pushing her way through.

I took some angry stares because I fall into the Asian category and the elderly woman was Chinese. For all the progress Chinese and other Asians have made in terms of social progress in America, such actions like this woman's reverse strides as they add or reinforce questionable stereotypes. To exacerbate the situation, she, without malicious intent though unkindly, pushed aside other folks to grab a seat vacated at the next stop. Again, angry stares were thrown my way.

These experiences and actions surely undermine the awareness of the collective Asian contribution to America and the world. Yet, I can also understand why they behave this way as Confucius once said to respect the elders. But didn't he also say or imply that patience is a virtue?

Poor Paul

Maybe it's because I'm not famous nor notorious and I don't want to be either, I find it somewhat difficult for Heather Mills and Paul McCartney to blame their marriage woes and subsequent separation on the constant media intrusion.

Couldn't Paul, with a reported $1.4 billion net worth, secure his own privacy with his wife and 2-year old child? Maybe Bill Gates does it better because his personal fortune is thirty-five times larger.

Nevertheless, it was reporters X, Y and Z that caused a rift in their marriage. The persistent chase and pursuit for the candid and possibly sordid photos of the couple disrupted essential communication between husband and wife. The machine gun flash bulb firings blinded two lovers into an incapacity to see and work through differences.

Maybe I should release a public statement blaming the lack of media attention to my separation two and a half years ago. It's interesting that I should read this article today as last night's Boston Legal had a case of a celebrity fighting back against paparazzi. In fact, the actress shot the photographer.

What will Paul do now? I'm sure the groupies are ready to soothe his soul with wanton and unabashed sex should he decide to give it a go as the local Fairmont Hotel.

Poor Paul

Befuddled

A woman in my department is way too funny.

Yesterday, I asked what she'd do if she won the lottery. She said that she would work hard to find a better return for her money. I clarified and asked what she'd do if she had $500,000 pre-tax a year as a result of the lottery, a sort of perpetual don't-need-to-do-anything salary. She said that she would research mutual, stock and bond funds to make at least 10% on the money because that paltry 5% on $10 million principal in the bank is too low for her. I asked her why wouldn't she just enjoy the free time with her kids (2 and 1 years old) and oversee their development. She said that she wouldn't be a positive role model if she didn't work because her kids would ask why other families are different because their mother didn't work. She added that having fun all the time would be boring and that she'd be tired from traveling so she'd need to work. Then she brought up something about playing video games, being with friends and doing nothing as a remedy to boredom from having too much and that the richest people in the world continue getting richer because they keep going.

HUH? If someone understands her message, please explain it to me.

This morning, another co-worker was rubbing his eyes because his allergies were kicking and I asked if he was okay. When I told him that I didn't have allergies, he jokingly cursed me to have multiple allergies in a few years. Ms. I-Need-To-Work-To-Be-A-Positive-Role-Model, who sits behind Mr. Allergies and diagonally from me, chimes in that allergies are genetic. I said "probably" but it doesn't explain how a woman I know has a billion allergies and yet there is no history of allergies in her family. Ms. Bored-From-Having-Too-Much-Fun replied that it explains how the others don't allergies and that she can be ignored. I asked her if the majority appeared correct, should the minority be ignored or discarded? She said "of course, only the majority matters". I asked if that means she discriminates against the minority. She says that the tiny percentage doesn't matter because only the majority does.

I've suspected this woman was quite an "in-the-box" person but not to this extent. Whoa....

Here's a conversation I had with her back in December 2005:

Her: Have a bun, Xxx bought them
Me: No, thanks
Her: They're delicious
Me: I know. I'd take a bite and have to throw the rest away
Her: Throw it away? Don't waste it, give to someone else
Me: Who'd take it?
Her: Then give it to someone else
Me: Okay, I'll take a bun, take a bite and give to someone else
Her: Yes, you should do that
Me: I'll give it to you
Her: Me? NO! I don't want your bun
Me: Why not?
Her: Because you took a bite out of it
Me: But you told me to give away my half-eaten bun
Her: Yes, but not to me
Me: Aren't you someone else?
Her: Give it to your friend or a....dog
Me: I don't have a dog
Her: You can get a dog
Me: Hmmm, get a dog? I suppose I could get a dog just to have the rest of the bun
Her: Yes, you can do that
Me: I'm not sure if the dog would like this bun though
Her: Dogs eat anything
Me: You sure?
Her: Yes
Me: Do you have a dog?
Her: No
Me: Have you ever had a dog?
Her: No
Me: How do you know a dog would like this bun?
Her: I don't know.....don't give it to the dog then, give to someone else
Me: Okay, I'll give it to you
Her: I don't want your half-eaten bun
Me: Why not?
Her: I have my own bun
Me: Don't you want another one?
Her: No, give it to someone else
Me: You said that they're delicious
Her: They are, I could a whole bunch of them
Me: How about half of one?
Her: No
Me: I couldn't possibly finish one
Her: Then throw it away

I'm going to have a bun, only one bite. Who wants the rest?

Hong Kong 2006

March 26th
We arrived around 830PM and were quite tired. We took the Airport Express train into Central where we caught a cab to the Cosmopolitan Hotel located between Wanchai and Causeway Bay. After checking in, we unpacked, took shits, brushed our teeth and showered before walking over to Times Square in Causeway Bay. We slightly confused but figured out that “Subway” meant an underground pathway to get the other side of the road. The first foods we ate were sticks of siu-mai (without much meat) and curry fish balls. I washed mine down with a mango drink. We walked around a bit and found a restaurant where we ordered beef chow fun, mushroom yee-mein and Portuguese chicken noodles along with two Cokes and a Coke Light (their version of diet). Food coma set in slowly as we headed back to the hotel. Not much was on the television as the three of us pushed the two tiny twin beds together and slept perpendicularly across the beds.

March 27th
I awoke at 658AM, followed shortly by M and eventually by T. We just chilled thinking that we could ease up on the jet lag. We showered, dressed and headed to Central to meet T’s cousin for dim-sum. We ate at a restaurant in Melbourne Plaza on Queen’s Road. The food was good and we stayed there for a couple of hours. It’s nice to be able to smoke practically anywhere in Hong Kong. Afterwards, I headed up to my company’s head office to get a phone number. I met with the guy who came from the New York office and eventually oversaw the company’s overseas branches and their development. We walked around Central a bit before heading up to Lan Kwai Fong as we were going to T’s cousin’s place in the Mid-Levels. We rode up the world’s longest escalator system only to get lost. We ended up walking up and down the hilly part of HK before finding the apartment building. Her address is 11 Bonham Street; across the street is 60-something Bonham. Strange, eh? The renown egg custards we bought were now cool but we had a good time as the pregnant hostess served tea and caught T up with her life. They have a nice flat with a decent view of Victoria Harbor, were it a nice clear day. We left around 1830 to head back to the hotel amid a misty rain. As we were tired from the trekking, we decided to eat at the hotel restaurant. Another strange thing: the waiters/waitresses would change T’s and my plates but not M’s. So we joked that they didn’t serve the servants even though it was the servant’s fictitious birthday and this dinner was her treat. In the room, we showered, bullshitted some more and got ready to two separate trips into China.

March 28th
I woke up at 630AM and found it strange that I was up so early. We eventually got going around 730 and caught a cab to Tsim Sha Tsui where we dropped off the bulk of our luggage at the place we were going to be staying the rest of the trip. We had breakfast at this diner-like restaurant across the street. DAMN, the rice noodles were awesome! M and T took off on their trip as I walked around TST since my train to Guangdong (aka Canton) was scheduled at 1315. I walked down to take pictures of Hong Kong since it was a sunny and clear day. Around 1130, I went to see the tailor who made me suits and shirts when I was last in HK. Around noon, I walked over to the MTR (their train system) for a quick hop over to KCR East Station for the ride up to Guangdong. As breakfast had passed, I was slightly hungry and grabbed McDonalds. I tried the new gimmick called Faan-tastic (note “Faan” was written in Chinese to denote rice). The gimmick involved either beef with onions or a chicken patty between two rice cakes. I rate it a 1.5 out of 10 and, luckily, I had gotten myself a sausage McMuffin. The ride up to Guangdong was uneventful as I was jamming on my iPod and getting busy with the Sudoku book. My cousin picked me up at the station and we went to his place where we chilled on his balcony drinking tea. They took me to the same place two years ago for dinner. Various live seafaring foods were available for dinner. The strangest was seeing a 4-foot (tip to tip) crocodile with his mouth plastic-wrapped waiting to be an entrée in the large tank as the other fish huddle together away from it. I thoroughly enjoyed the scallops in a half-shell with garlic and cellophane noodles. The vegetable in garlic sauce was nice too. We had goose and boiled shrimp as well. Afterwards, my cousin’s wife set up a mahjong game and it had the weirdest rules. We didn’t finish until 630AM despite initially wanting to end it at 230AM. I used my temporary cell phone to call a cousin in NY so that this hosting cousin could speak to. In 3 minutes, I burned HK$77! The Chinese cell companies are robbing folks left and right!

March 29th
I got up at 1130AM and chatted with my cousin’s wife for a while before heading out to lunch at a western styled restaurant a few blocks away. Despite the abundance of staff, none were effective and they all seemed clueless. Later, I realized that they don’t like making decisions and would rather be told what and when to do things. Commies! The food was so-so. I caught the 1655 train back to Kowloon and met up with M and T who had already gotten back. We went shopping for bedding mats as that would be our beds for the remainder of the trip. Our other two cohorts were at the apartment when we came back with the mats, extra sheets and towels. Everyone grab a drawer and a few hangers to claim as their own. The gluttony commenced about 90 minutes later as we walked around TST to get a fix on our position and noted where restaurants were. We hit a noodle store and pounded it: dumplings (two kinds), tripe, beef cubes, noodles (thin and wide), iced and milk teas. Stuffed and getting comatose, we headed back to the apartment.

March 30th
Q had to go to work so the four of us had lunch at the diner across the street. Afterwards, we diddle-dallied at the apartment a bit before T headed to HK island and M, C and I walked north to check out the famous Ladies Street. We hiked up Nathan Road and checked out various stores. C bought a business card holder at the China Arts and Craft store. Along the way, we checked out pricing on hair straightening as M’s hair was subject to the humidity kryptonite. We stopped to buy a mango and papaya drink, the mango tasted better. We found the street flea market in the middle and made our way up to the northern end. Cheap imitation jewelry, designer bags, watches, sneakers, shirts, etc. The vendors were aggressive and willing to negotiate as only the suckers paid what they asked. It should be noted that any guide/tour books recommend haggling with the vendors. Upon reaching the southern end of the flea market, the pungent and foul aroma of HK’s infamous Smelly Tofu was in the air. Luckily, an uncertain breeze moved the funk away but I was ready to try it. We ordered other foods and the moment came when I chomped on the Smelly Tofu. Tasty though it was overcooked a bit. We lugged our take back to the apartment. I don’t know what we did afterwards.

March 31st
Q went to work again and I met my cousin who arrived the Wednesday night. I was prepared to meet her out in Kwun Tong but she had already come over to TST with her friends for dim-sum and down the block from the apartment. She was there with her co-worker, his sister and their niece. I thought the girls were local gals until I heard them speak American English. They’re from California and were psyched about their impending trip to Bangkok and Phuket. It was interesting that neither one of them could speak Chinese but were Vietnamese Chinese. The oddest thing was my cousin (whose a FOB) asking me how to say “soy sauce” and “oyster sauce” in Cantonese. And I’m the worst Chinese speaker of all! My cousin had an appointment with a hairdresser around the block but the guy was late so we talked a bit. When he arrive, I took my leave and met up with my co-troublemakers at the apartment. We strolled over to Harbour City but I wasn’t in the mood to shop; neither was T. The girls got lost in the Bazaar which offered up to 80% off on various designer stuff. So we had Starbucks coffee and chatted downstairs about the differences between Asian and American Chinese. When the girls were done, we headed over to the Peninsula Hotel for High Tea. There were (i) ham sandwich quartets, (ii) cucumber sandwiches, (iii) mini-omelets, (iv) mini-mushroom rolls, and other stuff that I don’t’ remember (truffles, cakes and rolls). T and I returned to the apartment because the girls saw an Espirit outlet and went nuts. That night, we went to the Mid-Levels to meet up with T’s friends (Lynn, Linda, Ally and newcomer Carly aka DC or Dumb Cunt as those first three girls would call her). We had Italian cuisine which was decent given the locality and Miss Linda was a riot. She’s Chinese from Scotland and she got a bit of a mouth. After dinner, we headed down to a massively packed LKF as the ex-pats, non-Chinese and other imported personnel were drinking it up. Do note that HK was hosting the Rugby 7s that weekend and LKF was PACKED! We walked around a bit because I hit them with a shot of Jack Daniels each. The main artery of LKF was so crowded it took me about three minutes to go 10 yards to get a half-yard of Carlsberg. Upon our return, we lost the girls. We couldn’t hear anything on the cell phone but they eventually found us. They were 20 yards away from where we were and they were groped making their way around but left it at that. We did a bunch of shots and headed back to TST around 0030 because the MTR shuts down by 100. Thoroughly buzzed, we met up with Q and her co-worker J at a karaoke bar near the apartment. We drank some more for the next few hours before M, T and I staggered back. C and Q got back later around 530.

April 1st
Perhaps hung over but without the headache, we had a late lunch as everyone got up around 1300. I returned to the apartment as I needed to do some laundry. The others went for a walk and to shop. T and M came back shortly thereafter and we did about six loads of laundry. The building had a laundry room on the third floor alongside a terrace for residents to chill or to rent for barbeques. The washers and dryers are small but was cheap at HK$15 which included detergent, softener and drying time. We started around 5PM and didn’t get done until late. The other girls came back around 1800 and we gathered at the apartment for a bit before heading out to dinner. We walked to Temple Street to check out that flea market and had a late dinner at one of the notorious Dai Pai Dongs. We picked up the rest of the stuff in the dryer and showered up once again before retiring and looking forward to Stanley Market the next day.

April 2nd
We got up and running around 1100 to prepare for the group’s first dim-sum fest in HK. We went to a local restaurant down the block where I had previously gone with my cousin. We were all hungry and looked forward to dogging some serious dim-sum. And we did! The local patrons were shocked as we had towers of bamboo containers and dishes feeding our gluttony. Thirty-two stamp marks on our ticket including two other dishes. At some point, we had to ease up on the carbohydrates to finish as much as we could. In the end, we wasted one dish and took home four dishes and the rest of the noodles. Amazingly, the bill was only HK$623 or around US$81 for five hungry but now stuffed and satisfied Americans. We dropped off the doggy-bags, hit the bathroom and then began our adventure to Stanley Market on the other side of Hong Kong. The bus ride from Central took about 45 minutes as it was quite the view going up near Victoria Peak and down to Repulse Bay. Many luxurious cliffside homes were spotted and it would have been more picturesque had it not been foggy and humid. The first thing purchased was two stone stamps bearing my Chinese surname before we proceeded through the shops. The girls found heating pads, a feng-shui compliant drawing, a statue of Guan Yu on a horse, clothing for kids and other knickknacks. At some point, we got hungry and ate at Wildfire. Their drinks weren’t so good as my heavily liquored Long Island ice tea kicked me in the butt but the buzz wore off within an hour. I passed out on the ride back to Central but awoke when we were in Wanchai. We got off before the station and the girls went into Louis Vitton to check out bags, wallets and all things LV. Q bought a wallet while M mused about this blue handbag that was cute and certainly not yet available in the U.S. However, the gold/brass plate on the face of the bag screamed for a mugging to happen so she opted not to buy it. We walked around a bit before buying some pastries and heading back to the apartment. We had dinner at a Shanghai restaurant in TST’s LKF because Q was swayed by the fake dishes on display when we walked by the previous Wednesday night. We retired to the apartment afterwards.

April 3rd
The girls wanted to go to Wong Dai Sin to make prayers to various deities and get their fortunes told. Upon ascending from the MTR, we were mobbed by several elderly ladies hawking their various incense and offerings to the gods. As T and I weren’t into the rituals, we went along with the simple prayers and had a smoke outside the temple. We hit a shopping center across the street and grabbed some snacks before heading back to the apartment. It was hot and humid that day. I don’t recall much of what we did later that evening other than getting a whole bunch of street food for dinner. Also, Q and I had business meetings the next day.

April 4th
I was up and about at 1100 and got suited up to meet my company’s counterpart in Kwun Tong, about 13 stops further inland and east. The woman took me to a Chinese restaurant in the building’s complex. She ordered fried bean curd rolls, chicken with peanut sauce over noodles, spinach with bean curd paste, spam Chinese-style and something else. She took me up to her department as I wanted to meet her boss (aka Grim Reaper because whenever he emails us, the proposal is pretty much dead). I was amazed at how low the cubicles were; perhaps, because the Chinese are short people. The Reaper wasn’t there and I left after thanking her for lunch. I met up with Q who was one MTR station away at her HK office. Her co-worker J cracked me up when I walked into their office. She gave me the eyes-popping-out gesture when she saw me as I was in a suit and not grungy like the past Friday night. Q and I took a cab back to the apartment where we chilled. I don’t recall if what we had for dinner as we got ready to go clubbing that night. That Tuesday night was big for the locals as the next day was Ching Ming, I call it Chinese Easter. We got to Club Edge around 2215 and waited on the queue, about 20 people were in front of us. The other folks on the line were drinking beer so I went to the 7-11 down the block and brought back a six-pack of Carlsberg. Upon our return, they started letting people into the club so I chugged my beer and the extra can. Still, we had to wait and the buzz was full-on. A guy asked to cut in the line with us (the girls thought he was cute) and I allowed it if he bought me a drink. He did, scotch and red bull. Club Edge is friggin small. The word was that they sold only 500 tickets (which explains the HK$480 price) but it was unlikely that it could hold 300. We found ourselves a nook at the end of the bar and just stayed there. As the partygoers came it, the place got really hot and damp. Then, Tiesto came on and rocked the house. Being drunk, I made my way onto the floor and was grooving with this guy and his lady friend since I was slutting him for drinks. I don’t how long I was there but when I got back to the bar, T told me that the girls left because C was starting to black out from the heat. The place was just jammed as people were rubbing up against even though I was thoroughly self-marinated. I was enjoying myself when I met these women from Venezuela. One of the seem to be plying her mojo on me which I thought was cool. I thought I was going to get lucky and my freak on. After Tiesto finished his set, I asked them what they were doing later. They said “sleeping”, so T and I went back to the apartment. DOH!

April 5th
I got up late and didn’t want to do much of anything. I showered up and started eating whatever was saved in the mini-fridge. The girls went to do more shopping and T met up with his friends in HK. I stayed in as I was caught up in James Patterson’s book Big Bad Wolf. I took a nap around 1930 and was awaken at 2100 to meet up with the girls for dinner. We had the boiling buffet at a restaurant on the sixth floor overlooking Nathan Road and Austin Street. It’s interesting how restaurants and bars in HK aren’t necessarily on the ground floors of buildings. T met up with us later and we turned in early because we were heading to Macau the next day.

April 6th
We had trouble getting to the ferry terminal despite knowing where the building was (on the other side of Kowloon Park). We just missed the 1200 ferry and got tickets for the 1300 ride. We caught a quick lunch at the terminal. The ride wasn’t bad and seemed very quick though I did fall asleep. Within 10 minutes of being at sea, a woman runs to the back to hurl her lunch. It was humid and hazy when we got to Macau. Unsure of what to do, we hired a hatchback to take us on a tour. Our first stop was a store selling various cookies and beef/pork jerky. Next, we took pictures of the Lotus which symbolized the return of Macau to China from Portugal. We stopped at the Oon-Yum temple for more pictures. The guide drove around for a bit before taking us to a church offering views of the newer and older parts of Macau. Then, we cruised along the streets from the southwest end to the northeast end before stopping at yet another temple. On the second to last stop, we stop at another church and saw what looked like Macau’s LKF. The girls bought a dozen of the famous egg-tarts and other knickknacks. I told the guide to drop us off at the Sands Casino. There really wasn’t anything that interesting to see in Macau. The casino was interesting though. All packages are to be checked in before entering the premise through metal detectors. We figure the security was tight because of the history of unscrupulous gangsters. I thought about playing only blackjack but saw that they adopted the same style as the casinos in Puerto Rico: dealer does not get two cards like everyone else; they get it after all the players have stayed or busted out. The place was crowded with mostly mainland Chinese. We tried finding a Portuguese-styled restaurant but we had to get to the pier for the 1900 ride back to Kowloon. We hit up a dai-pai-dong at the pier where we ordered five pork chop sandwiches, two Portuguese chicken rice plates and a curry squid. We were put in the front of the nearly empty boat and practically froze our asses off. Once back in Kowloon, I went to see my tailor for final fitting and adjustments since I missed my appointment Wednesday night. We gathered at the apartment and the packing started. Q and C went nuts as did M with the shopping. T and I watched them sort out their wares. Around midnight, we got hungry and T and I went out to get some grub as Q already had her black-peppered drumstick.

April 7th
We had an abbreviated dim-sum, compared to the first outing, at the famous Shamrock Hotel. They went to do final shopping and I went to get another Bolo luggage for my suits. As the suits wouldn’t be ready until 5PM, I walked around a bit looking to see what DVDs I could get. Not finding what I wanted, I went back to the apartment and chilled out. I picked the Bolo and suits at 1730 and packed 95% of my gear. We got ready for dinner at 900 in Causeway Bay but Q wanted to get some group pictures from those Japanese cutesy photo booths. On the way back from the photo shoot, we stopped at Ichiban and Q went nuts buying snacks of all kinds. We met up with C’s sister and Q’s co-worker and had Indonesian fare. After dinner, I was still on a mission to find part two of the move Royal Tramp. Within seconds, M and I lost the group so we decided to head back to the apartment to finish packing. The group met up with T in Wanchai and have a few drinks. I was amazed at how much stuff I had bought but was content.

April 8th
We were up and about by 1000. The apartment was cleaned up by 1030. We headed out to the airport at 1200. After checking in, Q, T and I had Burger King while C had congee and noodles and Q had chicken and shrimp fried rice. We meandered around the various stores at the airport before boarding. At 1515, we left HK.

Plus 13 hours

I'm going to Hong Kong again! The last time I went, I didn't do much and it was frustrating as some know. In fact, I blogged a bit about it on my myspace profile but that led to a whole lot of shit. I'd love to say something about that but there's no point. I will actually HAVE FUN THIS TIME AROUND. Why?

I'm going with friends who have been there before and will be chasing down various delicacies sure to excite the palate as opposed to McDonalds. Plus, we’re going to take a day-trip into what was once called Canton to visit family and friends. BUT, we’re not having any exotic or funky foods like snake or insects. EW!

Another exciting thing about the trip is a favorite deejay of mine will be spinning at a local club there and we’re going. Booya! We’re also going to Macau to see what the Portuguese-Chinese lifestyle is like as well as its foods. Also, I’ll visit the tailor that made some suits and shirts for me as I could use a refreshing.

Hell, I’m going to gain 10 pounds and fucking love it!