Eva Maudlin claims that Satan made her husband, Joshua, put their recently arrived two-month daughter in the microwave for 10 to 20 seconds. For reasons unknown but for the Maudlins, Satan did not like Joshua becoming a preacher. Seems the Horned One felt threatened.
How dare they blame their cowardly problems on a man-made fantasy that is Satan? If I were Satan, I'd probably whisper in God's ear: "Dude, that's fucked up. You gave him Free Will. I don't want him in Hell."
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