Befuddled

A woman in my department is way too funny.

Yesterday, I asked what she'd do if she won the lottery. She said that she would work hard to find a better return for her money. I clarified and asked what she'd do if she had $500,000 pre-tax a year as a result of the lottery, a sort of perpetual don't-need-to-do-anything salary. She said that she would research mutual, stock and bond funds to make at least 10% on the money because that paltry 5% on $10 million principal in the bank is too low for her. I asked her why wouldn't she just enjoy the free time with her kids (2 and 1 years old) and oversee their development. She said that she wouldn't be a positive role model if she didn't work because her kids would ask why other families are different because their mother didn't work. She added that having fun all the time would be boring and that she'd be tired from traveling so she'd need to work. Then she brought up something about playing video games, being with friends and doing nothing as a remedy to boredom from having too much and that the richest people in the world continue getting richer because they keep going.

HUH? If someone understands her message, please explain it to me.

This morning, another co-worker was rubbing his eyes because his allergies were kicking and I asked if he was okay. When I told him that I didn't have allergies, he jokingly cursed me to have multiple allergies in a few years. Ms. I-Need-To-Work-To-Be-A-Positive-Role-Model, who sits behind Mr. Allergies and diagonally from me, chimes in that allergies are genetic. I said "probably" but it doesn't explain how a woman I know has a billion allergies and yet there is no history of allergies in her family. Ms. Bored-From-Having-Too-Much-Fun replied that it explains how the others don't allergies and that she can be ignored. I asked her if the majority appeared correct, should the minority be ignored or discarded? She said "of course, only the majority matters". I asked if that means she discriminates against the minority. She says that the tiny percentage doesn't matter because only the majority does.

I've suspected this woman was quite an "in-the-box" person but not to this extent. Whoa....

Here's a conversation I had with her back in December 2005:

Her: Have a bun, Xxx bought them
Me: No, thanks
Her: They're delicious
Me: I know. I'd take a bite and have to throw the rest away
Her: Throw it away? Don't waste it, give to someone else
Me: Who'd take it?
Her: Then give it to someone else
Me: Okay, I'll take a bun, take a bite and give to someone else
Her: Yes, you should do that
Me: I'll give it to you
Her: Me? NO! I don't want your bun
Me: Why not?
Her: Because you took a bite out of it
Me: But you told me to give away my half-eaten bun
Her: Yes, but not to me
Me: Aren't you someone else?
Her: Give it to your friend or a....dog
Me: I don't have a dog
Her: You can get a dog
Me: Hmmm, get a dog? I suppose I could get a dog just to have the rest of the bun
Her: Yes, you can do that
Me: I'm not sure if the dog would like this bun though
Her: Dogs eat anything
Me: You sure?
Her: Yes
Me: Do you have a dog?
Her: No
Me: Have you ever had a dog?
Her: No
Me: How do you know a dog would like this bun?
Her: I don't know.....don't give it to the dog then, give to someone else
Me: Okay, I'll give it to you
Her: I don't want your half-eaten bun
Me: Why not?
Her: I have my own bun
Me: Don't you want another one?
Her: No, give it to someone else
Me: You said that they're delicious
Her: They are, I could a whole bunch of them
Me: How about half of one?
Her: No
Me: I couldn't possibly finish one
Her: Then throw it away

I'm going to have a bun, only one bite. Who wants the rest?