Hong Kong 2006

March 26th
We arrived around 830PM and were quite tired. We took the Airport Express train into Central where we caught a cab to the Cosmopolitan Hotel located between Wanchai and Causeway Bay. After checking in, we unpacked, took shits, brushed our teeth and showered before walking over to Times Square in Causeway Bay. We slightly confused but figured out that “Subway” meant an underground pathway to get the other side of the road. The first foods we ate were sticks of siu-mai (without much meat) and curry fish balls. I washed mine down with a mango drink. We walked around a bit and found a restaurant where we ordered beef chow fun, mushroom yee-mein and Portuguese chicken noodles along with two Cokes and a Coke Light (their version of diet). Food coma set in slowly as we headed back to the hotel. Not much was on the television as the three of us pushed the two tiny twin beds together and slept perpendicularly across the beds.

March 27th
I awoke at 658AM, followed shortly by M and eventually by T. We just chilled thinking that we could ease up on the jet lag. We showered, dressed and headed to Central to meet T’s cousin for dim-sum. We ate at a restaurant in Melbourne Plaza on Queen’s Road. The food was good and we stayed there for a couple of hours. It’s nice to be able to smoke practically anywhere in Hong Kong. Afterwards, I headed up to my company’s head office to get a phone number. I met with the guy who came from the New York office and eventually oversaw the company’s overseas branches and their development. We walked around Central a bit before heading up to Lan Kwai Fong as we were going to T’s cousin’s place in the Mid-Levels. We rode up the world’s longest escalator system only to get lost. We ended up walking up and down the hilly part of HK before finding the apartment building. Her address is 11 Bonham Street; across the street is 60-something Bonham. Strange, eh? The renown egg custards we bought were now cool but we had a good time as the pregnant hostess served tea and caught T up with her life. They have a nice flat with a decent view of Victoria Harbor, were it a nice clear day. We left around 1830 to head back to the hotel amid a misty rain. As we were tired from the trekking, we decided to eat at the hotel restaurant. Another strange thing: the waiters/waitresses would change T’s and my plates but not M’s. So we joked that they didn’t serve the servants even though it was the servant’s fictitious birthday and this dinner was her treat. In the room, we showered, bullshitted some more and got ready to two separate trips into China.

March 28th
I woke up at 630AM and found it strange that I was up so early. We eventually got going around 730 and caught a cab to Tsim Sha Tsui where we dropped off the bulk of our luggage at the place we were going to be staying the rest of the trip. We had breakfast at this diner-like restaurant across the street. DAMN, the rice noodles were awesome! M and T took off on their trip as I walked around TST since my train to Guangdong (aka Canton) was scheduled at 1315. I walked down to take pictures of Hong Kong since it was a sunny and clear day. Around 1130, I went to see the tailor who made me suits and shirts when I was last in HK. Around noon, I walked over to the MTR (their train system) for a quick hop over to KCR East Station for the ride up to Guangdong. As breakfast had passed, I was slightly hungry and grabbed McDonalds. I tried the new gimmick called Faan-tastic (note “Faan” was written in Chinese to denote rice). The gimmick involved either beef with onions or a chicken patty between two rice cakes. I rate it a 1.5 out of 10 and, luckily, I had gotten myself a sausage McMuffin. The ride up to Guangdong was uneventful as I was jamming on my iPod and getting busy with the Sudoku book. My cousin picked me up at the station and we went to his place where we chilled on his balcony drinking tea. They took me to the same place two years ago for dinner. Various live seafaring foods were available for dinner. The strangest was seeing a 4-foot (tip to tip) crocodile with his mouth plastic-wrapped waiting to be an entrée in the large tank as the other fish huddle together away from it. I thoroughly enjoyed the scallops in a half-shell with garlic and cellophane noodles. The vegetable in garlic sauce was nice too. We had goose and boiled shrimp as well. Afterwards, my cousin’s wife set up a mahjong game and it had the weirdest rules. We didn’t finish until 630AM despite initially wanting to end it at 230AM. I used my temporary cell phone to call a cousin in NY so that this hosting cousin could speak to. In 3 minutes, I burned HK$77! The Chinese cell companies are robbing folks left and right!

March 29th
I got up at 1130AM and chatted with my cousin’s wife for a while before heading out to lunch at a western styled restaurant a few blocks away. Despite the abundance of staff, none were effective and they all seemed clueless. Later, I realized that they don’t like making decisions and would rather be told what and when to do things. Commies! The food was so-so. I caught the 1655 train back to Kowloon and met up with M and T who had already gotten back. We went shopping for bedding mats as that would be our beds for the remainder of the trip. Our other two cohorts were at the apartment when we came back with the mats, extra sheets and towels. Everyone grab a drawer and a few hangers to claim as their own. The gluttony commenced about 90 minutes later as we walked around TST to get a fix on our position and noted where restaurants were. We hit a noodle store and pounded it: dumplings (two kinds), tripe, beef cubes, noodles (thin and wide), iced and milk teas. Stuffed and getting comatose, we headed back to the apartment.

March 30th
Q had to go to work so the four of us had lunch at the diner across the street. Afterwards, we diddle-dallied at the apartment a bit before T headed to HK island and M, C and I walked north to check out the famous Ladies Street. We hiked up Nathan Road and checked out various stores. C bought a business card holder at the China Arts and Craft store. Along the way, we checked out pricing on hair straightening as M’s hair was subject to the humidity kryptonite. We stopped to buy a mango and papaya drink, the mango tasted better. We found the street flea market in the middle and made our way up to the northern end. Cheap imitation jewelry, designer bags, watches, sneakers, shirts, etc. The vendors were aggressive and willing to negotiate as only the suckers paid what they asked. It should be noted that any guide/tour books recommend haggling with the vendors. Upon reaching the southern end of the flea market, the pungent and foul aroma of HK’s infamous Smelly Tofu was in the air. Luckily, an uncertain breeze moved the funk away but I was ready to try it. We ordered other foods and the moment came when I chomped on the Smelly Tofu. Tasty though it was overcooked a bit. We lugged our take back to the apartment. I don’t know what we did afterwards.

March 31st
Q went to work again and I met my cousin who arrived the Wednesday night. I was prepared to meet her out in Kwun Tong but she had already come over to TST with her friends for dim-sum and down the block from the apartment. She was there with her co-worker, his sister and their niece. I thought the girls were local gals until I heard them speak American English. They’re from California and were psyched about their impending trip to Bangkok and Phuket. It was interesting that neither one of them could speak Chinese but were Vietnamese Chinese. The oddest thing was my cousin (whose a FOB) asking me how to say “soy sauce” and “oyster sauce” in Cantonese. And I’m the worst Chinese speaker of all! My cousin had an appointment with a hairdresser around the block but the guy was late so we talked a bit. When he arrive, I took my leave and met up with my co-troublemakers at the apartment. We strolled over to Harbour City but I wasn’t in the mood to shop; neither was T. The girls got lost in the Bazaar which offered up to 80% off on various designer stuff. So we had Starbucks coffee and chatted downstairs about the differences between Asian and American Chinese. When the girls were done, we headed over to the Peninsula Hotel for High Tea. There were (i) ham sandwich quartets, (ii) cucumber sandwiches, (iii) mini-omelets, (iv) mini-mushroom rolls, and other stuff that I don’t’ remember (truffles, cakes and rolls). T and I returned to the apartment because the girls saw an Espirit outlet and went nuts. That night, we went to the Mid-Levels to meet up with T’s friends (Lynn, Linda, Ally and newcomer Carly aka DC or Dumb Cunt as those first three girls would call her). We had Italian cuisine which was decent given the locality and Miss Linda was a riot. She’s Chinese from Scotland and she got a bit of a mouth. After dinner, we headed down to a massively packed LKF as the ex-pats, non-Chinese and other imported personnel were drinking it up. Do note that HK was hosting the Rugby 7s that weekend and LKF was PACKED! We walked around a bit because I hit them with a shot of Jack Daniels each. The main artery of LKF was so crowded it took me about three minutes to go 10 yards to get a half-yard of Carlsberg. Upon our return, we lost the girls. We couldn’t hear anything on the cell phone but they eventually found us. They were 20 yards away from where we were and they were groped making their way around but left it at that. We did a bunch of shots and headed back to TST around 0030 because the MTR shuts down by 100. Thoroughly buzzed, we met up with Q and her co-worker J at a karaoke bar near the apartment. We drank some more for the next few hours before M, T and I staggered back. C and Q got back later around 530.

April 1st
Perhaps hung over but without the headache, we had a late lunch as everyone got up around 1300. I returned to the apartment as I needed to do some laundry. The others went for a walk and to shop. T and M came back shortly thereafter and we did about six loads of laundry. The building had a laundry room on the third floor alongside a terrace for residents to chill or to rent for barbeques. The washers and dryers are small but was cheap at HK$15 which included detergent, softener and drying time. We started around 5PM and didn’t get done until late. The other girls came back around 1800 and we gathered at the apartment for a bit before heading out to dinner. We walked to Temple Street to check out that flea market and had a late dinner at one of the notorious Dai Pai Dongs. We picked up the rest of the stuff in the dryer and showered up once again before retiring and looking forward to Stanley Market the next day.

April 2nd
We got up and running around 1100 to prepare for the group’s first dim-sum fest in HK. We went to a local restaurant down the block where I had previously gone with my cousin. We were all hungry and looked forward to dogging some serious dim-sum. And we did! The local patrons were shocked as we had towers of bamboo containers and dishes feeding our gluttony. Thirty-two stamp marks on our ticket including two other dishes. At some point, we had to ease up on the carbohydrates to finish as much as we could. In the end, we wasted one dish and took home four dishes and the rest of the noodles. Amazingly, the bill was only HK$623 or around US$81 for five hungry but now stuffed and satisfied Americans. We dropped off the doggy-bags, hit the bathroom and then began our adventure to Stanley Market on the other side of Hong Kong. The bus ride from Central took about 45 minutes as it was quite the view going up near Victoria Peak and down to Repulse Bay. Many luxurious cliffside homes were spotted and it would have been more picturesque had it not been foggy and humid. The first thing purchased was two stone stamps bearing my Chinese surname before we proceeded through the shops. The girls found heating pads, a feng-shui compliant drawing, a statue of Guan Yu on a horse, clothing for kids and other knickknacks. At some point, we got hungry and ate at Wildfire. Their drinks weren’t so good as my heavily liquored Long Island ice tea kicked me in the butt but the buzz wore off within an hour. I passed out on the ride back to Central but awoke when we were in Wanchai. We got off before the station and the girls went into Louis Vitton to check out bags, wallets and all things LV. Q bought a wallet while M mused about this blue handbag that was cute and certainly not yet available in the U.S. However, the gold/brass plate on the face of the bag screamed for a mugging to happen so she opted not to buy it. We walked around a bit before buying some pastries and heading back to the apartment. We had dinner at a Shanghai restaurant in TST’s LKF because Q was swayed by the fake dishes on display when we walked by the previous Wednesday night. We retired to the apartment afterwards.

April 3rd
The girls wanted to go to Wong Dai Sin to make prayers to various deities and get their fortunes told. Upon ascending from the MTR, we were mobbed by several elderly ladies hawking their various incense and offerings to the gods. As T and I weren’t into the rituals, we went along with the simple prayers and had a smoke outside the temple. We hit a shopping center across the street and grabbed some snacks before heading back to the apartment. It was hot and humid that day. I don’t recall much of what we did later that evening other than getting a whole bunch of street food for dinner. Also, Q and I had business meetings the next day.

April 4th
I was up and about at 1100 and got suited up to meet my company’s counterpart in Kwun Tong, about 13 stops further inland and east. The woman took me to a Chinese restaurant in the building’s complex. She ordered fried bean curd rolls, chicken with peanut sauce over noodles, spinach with bean curd paste, spam Chinese-style and something else. She took me up to her department as I wanted to meet her boss (aka Grim Reaper because whenever he emails us, the proposal is pretty much dead). I was amazed at how low the cubicles were; perhaps, because the Chinese are short people. The Reaper wasn’t there and I left after thanking her for lunch. I met up with Q who was one MTR station away at her HK office. Her co-worker J cracked me up when I walked into their office. She gave me the eyes-popping-out gesture when she saw me as I was in a suit and not grungy like the past Friday night. Q and I took a cab back to the apartment where we chilled. I don’t recall if what we had for dinner as we got ready to go clubbing that night. That Tuesday night was big for the locals as the next day was Ching Ming, I call it Chinese Easter. We got to Club Edge around 2215 and waited on the queue, about 20 people were in front of us. The other folks on the line were drinking beer so I went to the 7-11 down the block and brought back a six-pack of Carlsberg. Upon our return, they started letting people into the club so I chugged my beer and the extra can. Still, we had to wait and the buzz was full-on. A guy asked to cut in the line with us (the girls thought he was cute) and I allowed it if he bought me a drink. He did, scotch and red bull. Club Edge is friggin small. The word was that they sold only 500 tickets (which explains the HK$480 price) but it was unlikely that it could hold 300. We found ourselves a nook at the end of the bar and just stayed there. As the partygoers came it, the place got really hot and damp. Then, Tiesto came on and rocked the house. Being drunk, I made my way onto the floor and was grooving with this guy and his lady friend since I was slutting him for drinks. I don’t how long I was there but when I got back to the bar, T told me that the girls left because C was starting to black out from the heat. The place was just jammed as people were rubbing up against even though I was thoroughly self-marinated. I was enjoying myself when I met these women from Venezuela. One of the seem to be plying her mojo on me which I thought was cool. I thought I was going to get lucky and my freak on. After Tiesto finished his set, I asked them what they were doing later. They said “sleeping”, so T and I went back to the apartment. DOH!

April 5th
I got up late and didn’t want to do much of anything. I showered up and started eating whatever was saved in the mini-fridge. The girls went to do more shopping and T met up with his friends in HK. I stayed in as I was caught up in James Patterson’s book Big Bad Wolf. I took a nap around 1930 and was awaken at 2100 to meet up with the girls for dinner. We had the boiling buffet at a restaurant on the sixth floor overlooking Nathan Road and Austin Street. It’s interesting how restaurants and bars in HK aren’t necessarily on the ground floors of buildings. T met up with us later and we turned in early because we were heading to Macau the next day.

April 6th
We had trouble getting to the ferry terminal despite knowing where the building was (on the other side of Kowloon Park). We just missed the 1200 ferry and got tickets for the 1300 ride. We caught a quick lunch at the terminal. The ride wasn’t bad and seemed very quick though I did fall asleep. Within 10 minutes of being at sea, a woman runs to the back to hurl her lunch. It was humid and hazy when we got to Macau. Unsure of what to do, we hired a hatchback to take us on a tour. Our first stop was a store selling various cookies and beef/pork jerky. Next, we took pictures of the Lotus which symbolized the return of Macau to China from Portugal. We stopped at the Oon-Yum temple for more pictures. The guide drove around for a bit before taking us to a church offering views of the newer and older parts of Macau. Then, we cruised along the streets from the southwest end to the northeast end before stopping at yet another temple. On the second to last stop, we stop at another church and saw what looked like Macau’s LKF. The girls bought a dozen of the famous egg-tarts and other knickknacks. I told the guide to drop us off at the Sands Casino. There really wasn’t anything that interesting to see in Macau. The casino was interesting though. All packages are to be checked in before entering the premise through metal detectors. We figure the security was tight because of the history of unscrupulous gangsters. I thought about playing only blackjack but saw that they adopted the same style as the casinos in Puerto Rico: dealer does not get two cards like everyone else; they get it after all the players have stayed or busted out. The place was crowded with mostly mainland Chinese. We tried finding a Portuguese-styled restaurant but we had to get to the pier for the 1900 ride back to Kowloon. We hit up a dai-pai-dong at the pier where we ordered five pork chop sandwiches, two Portuguese chicken rice plates and a curry squid. We were put in the front of the nearly empty boat and practically froze our asses off. Once back in Kowloon, I went to see my tailor for final fitting and adjustments since I missed my appointment Wednesday night. We gathered at the apartment and the packing started. Q and C went nuts as did M with the shopping. T and I watched them sort out their wares. Around midnight, we got hungry and T and I went out to get some grub as Q already had her black-peppered drumstick.

April 7th
We had an abbreviated dim-sum, compared to the first outing, at the famous Shamrock Hotel. They went to do final shopping and I went to get another Bolo luggage for my suits. As the suits wouldn’t be ready until 5PM, I walked around a bit looking to see what DVDs I could get. Not finding what I wanted, I went back to the apartment and chilled out. I picked the Bolo and suits at 1730 and packed 95% of my gear. We got ready for dinner at 900 in Causeway Bay but Q wanted to get some group pictures from those Japanese cutesy photo booths. On the way back from the photo shoot, we stopped at Ichiban and Q went nuts buying snacks of all kinds. We met up with C’s sister and Q’s co-worker and had Indonesian fare. After dinner, I was still on a mission to find part two of the move Royal Tramp. Within seconds, M and I lost the group so we decided to head back to the apartment to finish packing. The group met up with T in Wanchai and have a few drinks. I was amazed at how much stuff I had bought but was content.

April 8th
We were up and about by 1000. The apartment was cleaned up by 1030. We headed out to the airport at 1200. After checking in, Q, T and I had Burger King while C had congee and noodles and Q had chicken and shrimp fried rice. We meandered around the various stores at the airport before boarding. At 1515, we left HK.