Just as I thought things would brighten up, it did in a hot and humid way. New York gets so damn hot and humid that one would think a jungle exploded here. I sucked it up for a week and finally bought and installed two air conditioner units. Took about three hours at full blast to cool the place down. Of course, Mr. Murphy decides to bring a cold front and this week is looking pretty nice with lower humidity and temperatures in the mid-70s. Luckily, I got my ACs interest free until January 2006.
Work sucks! The bosses are hammering us for new and more deals but their if-shit-can-happen-then-it-will-definitely-happens attitude isn't helping. I just calculated that I should have booked about $145 with $50 to be closed shortly and another $45 to go. But NOooooooooooooooooooo......they wimps are dinging deals for the dumbest reasons. Dammit, they wanted to grow the portfolio by $150 this year and I could have gotten them there already.
To make this worse, they gave me a pittance of a raise and bonus despite that fact that I accounted for 45% of the book last year.
What did I learn from this? I'm never working for another Chinese bank again as soon as I find a gig and bail.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Ouch!
This has been a funky week. During lunch on Tuesday, I received a call from my cousin that an aunt of ours had tried to kill herself by jumping in front of the train. Typical of my instant cold practicality, I concentrated on finishing the crossword puzzle. I didn't finish and it wasn't because I was dwelling on the horrific news. Afterwards, I went upstairs to my office to get my usual after-meal cigarette. As I lit up outside, it hit me. I was shaken and wondering what's going on. Thinking about why she would do it. How my cousins must be tripping out. Then I remembered hearing that another beloved cousin had accidentally overdoesed recently mixing cold/flu medicine.
I left work early to go to the hospital. The older boys were holding up well, the youngest at 17 was shaky. My uncle was a mess. My aunt has just returned from a CAT scan and was groggy from the painkillers. She lost skin from the burns, lots of blood and her left leg. She appeared really swollen and occasionally came in and out of consciousness as evidenced by eye movements and weak attempts to speak.
I don't understand fully but I think I get the concepts and some shrink speak on suicide. I've been down, depressed and moody but never once did I ever contemplate offing myself. I have on occasions thought that I would die and seemed to welcome it, especially as I was falling asleep. The closest I came to death was falling out of the raft in Costa Rica and the currents pulled me underneath as I was running out of breath. I opened my eyes to see what the onset of death was like. It seemed bright but that was really the work of my lifejacket bringing me back to the surface.
I've blogged a few times on my Xanga site but haven't recently. I've started again today after reading the serial thoughts of a friend's wife as she narrate the wonderful hysteria of being a mother. Maybe I'll write more.
P.S., I thought about taking the Spurs, minus 6.5, and over 176 tonight. The score at halftime is Detroit 37 and San Antonio 35. PHEW!
I left work early to go to the hospital. The older boys were holding up well, the youngest at 17 was shaky. My uncle was a mess. My aunt has just returned from a CAT scan and was groggy from the painkillers. She lost skin from the burns, lots of blood and her left leg. She appeared really swollen and occasionally came in and out of consciousness as evidenced by eye movements and weak attempts to speak.
I don't understand fully but I think I get the concepts and some shrink speak on suicide. I've been down, depressed and moody but never once did I ever contemplate offing myself. I have on occasions thought that I would die and seemed to welcome it, especially as I was falling asleep. The closest I came to death was falling out of the raft in Costa Rica and the currents pulled me underneath as I was running out of breath. I opened my eyes to see what the onset of death was like. It seemed bright but that was really the work of my lifejacket bringing me back to the surface.
I've blogged a few times on my Xanga site but haven't recently. I've started again today after reading the serial thoughts of a friend's wife as she narrate the wonderful hysteria of being a mother. Maybe I'll write more.
P.S., I thought about taking the Spurs, minus 6.5, and over 176 tonight. The score at halftime is Detroit 37 and San Antonio 35. PHEW!
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