Prison Envy?

Lindsay Lohan crashes her car at 530AM and an usable amount of what appears to be cocaine is found. She isn't arrested as she is taken to the hospital to treat minor injuries. The authorities will be charging her with DUI with the arraignment date of August 24th. Think she's miffed or even jealous that former BFF Paris is going to joint and getting lots of attention?

Perhaps. Maybe she's just 20, stupid and the blond dye is affecting her neural connections. Then again, I'm older and know better, sometimes.

Satan made me do it

Eva Maudlin claims that Satan made her husband, Joshua, put their recently arrived two-month daughter in the microwave for 10 to 20 seconds. For reasons unknown but for the Maudlins, Satan did not like Joshua becoming a preacher. Seems the Horned One felt threatened.

How dare they blame their cowardly problems on a man-made fantasy that is Satan? If I were Satan, I'd probably whisper in God's ear: "Dude, that's fucked up. You gave him Free Will. I don't want him in Hell."

Horrible...

I'm reading "God Is Not Great" right now. The essential premise of the book is that God is man-made. Thus, religion was created in the heady days to conveniently serve those purveyors of the revelations while keeping the masses under control. As such, religion is a psychological poison.

This is so clearly demonstrated in the atrocity known as "honor killing" whereby a 17-year old Kurdish female was beaten, kicked and stoned to death while others (including the police) looked on because some relatives believed she shamed the family. You can read it on cnn.com's main page.

Such brutality based on outdated stupidity is still tolerated. I once read that a woman was ordered gang-raped by the village elders for a supposed shame by her brother. Just fucking gruesome!

Filthy pigs! Yes, it's a double-entendre on those fucks!

The Crazies

Coincidences are just coincidences, not the flicks of some deity's finger.

As I came to highly respect Gene Simmons for his monogamous devotion to the mother of his two children for 23+ years, the season finales of Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy dealt with the the crazies of relationships, marriage and parenthood. Surely, a coincidence.

This leads me to want to believe that if there was a God its greatest feature is humor regardless of the situation's severity.

Crazy huh?

Incredulous!

Paris' sentence was halved to 23 days because of good behavior, which was showing up at court on time. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One is supposed to be at court on time.

Newsworthy? Like, OMG!

The latest bullshit report from Hollywood is that Paris is emotionally distraught over her being sentenced to 45 days in jail. It seems that a psychiatrist has recommended that the judge be more lenient since Paris cannot fathom the "cruel and unwarranted" punishment of her violating her DUI probation. It's so bad that she cannot take the witness stand in a $10 million defamation lawsuit against her.

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*

It would be great if Penn & Teller, who have a show on Showtime called "Bullshit!", would devote a show on her blatant stupidity and arrogance to be treated any more special than the regular Jane.

I can understand leniency if she had reported to the alcohol or consultation meeting(s) as required during her probation. But she didn't. Furthermore, she showed up late to her hearing; thus, costing the state time and money as if being fashionably late was a cool thing in court.

I think it's unfair that she will get special treatment in jail by being away from the general population. Unless, she is put in solitary confinement to work on her emotional duress and to put the little hamster between her ears to work. She's probably going to get her ass kicked but life is cruel.

Paris, grow up. Stop being a spoiled brat. Take these knocks as the nothing you bring to society. It's only 45 days.

Arnold, don't pardon her. Save it for someone who really deserves it.

On the way home...

Two young ladies were talking behind before they gradually passed me and I turned right into my building....

Girl 1: Yeah
Girl 2: Yeah, *giggles*
Girl 1: Okay
Girl 2: You know it gets better
Girl 1: Yeah?
(they're walking besides me now)
Girl 2 (short blond): Yeah, it gets interesting
Girl 1 (tall blond): How so?
Girl 2: *giggles*, he took my bra off with my shirt on while we were watching the movie
Girl 1: Really? In the theater?
Girl 2: Yeah. *giggles*
Girl 1: Sounds like you had fun.

Girl 2's date has skills.

Batting .500

My car is due for maintenance, especially the suspension, as it's been riding a bit rough and I've been uneasy. So I ordered the shocks and 2 tires last weekend and the presumption that my mechanic would be able to work on them during the week and next. But he has a 735i sitting in his driveway that's waiting a special part from Germany, which hasn't arrived as of this morning.

So I went to his place to get the 2 tires and then off to the guy who referred me to him to swap out the front tires and place the others on the rear and the spare. Turns out the two I'm changing were near toast. DOH! Now I have to order another 2 tires and go back to the guy. However, the ride home felt really nice and I'm regaining the confidence of my tank.

I needed to do laundry this weekend. I left the office early on Friday and was going to get it done that night but the DVR was threatening to delete recorded programs soon. I figured I had a few more days of backup and pushed it to Saturday.

Saturday came and went just like that! Poof! So I decided that I would wake up early Sunday, do laundry and then head to my mechanic's place.

HA! I was watching the Latin Divas of Comedy until 3AM. Here are some choice lines from the show:

1. When a woman is over 30, dating is really interviewing
2. Women should understand that men cannot be changed; men like to be petted and cuddled because they're babies
3. The stocky diva said losing 10 pounds means taking a really good shit
4. Mami, papi, I'm a lesbian, pass the salt
5. Ay, his body hair was so thick that when he took his shirt off, it was like velcro

Laundry is done but I haven't put them away yet. They're folded however. I'm listening to Tiesto's "In The Dark". Nice rock/trance tune. The singer has an Alyson Moyet-like voice but her name is Christian Burns. I'm going to buy the CD from Amazon.