....doh....

Two close friends of mine that are brother and sister lost their father last night. And their grandfather is holding on in the hospital. ....doh....

Valentine's Day...PSSSSHHHHH....

It's got to be the dumbest day around. Why do couples need to be kind to each other for one special day? What about the other 360 days? I'm taking into account each person's birthday, Christmas and the anniversary, if either remembers. I think 183 days of being nice to your mate is the minimum. For those who suck at math, that's 1 day more than half a year. Or simply, do something every other day.

So keep expectations low, smile, throw him/her a wink or two and hug each other. Every other day. Y'all should be so lucky to have someone to deal with your shit.

Another thing.... Roses and candy are so lame. Go to a flower shop, look at the flowers, pick the ones the evoke a nice memory and write it down on the card that you send along with the flowers. Pork chops, if they stuffed, are good too.

Roses....PSSSSShhhhh.......

I helped Dell

Who would have thunk it? Some Dell tech guy read my XPS comment.

Maybe Dell should comp me the laptop for helping them figure out why Vista sucks.

Absence of Football

I woke up at 930AM, 90 minutes before the alarm on my 5 year old deactivated cell phone went off. I had hoped to hear the ring tone, levitate kavallerie. It was loud and very different. I haven't figured out how to add that particular ring tone to subsequent phones.

After an hour of checking on my Vista-damaged XPS, I went to Verizon Wireless to activate my new phone, a black Chocolate. It was a nice that I only waited for 5 minutes before being helped. I told the lady that I wanted to activate my new phone and she replied "there's going to be a $20 charge." Uh.......bullshit. I am grateful that she gave me instructions to activate it at home.

So I spent the $20 on gas and 8 pieces of KFC dark meat with 4 biscuits. Half original and crispy. There was also a $2.11 cup of Dunkin Donuts too.

When I got home, Vista restarted itself and was noisily scanning for something I did to fix it. I suppose I annoyed it like a doctor would give a child an immunization shot.

It was noon and, for the first time since late August, I didn't have to call Fuzzy. There was no Sunday pre-game show on ESPN. So I watched "Dick".

Around 330PM, I moved the car and took a nice stroll home but could not figure out what to have for dinner.

Vista seemed to be well off and I surfed. I had bookmarked a wonderfully written site that I stumbled upon in December: www.f-ckingc-nts.com Yes, it is a real site. No, it's not some misogynistic site. Actually, it's written by an incredibly funny and intelligent woman who loves the word "cunt".

From there, I found a link to yet another hilarious site: www.mil-millington.com.

Great laughter. Especially in the absence of football.

恭喜发财

There's a Chinese tradition that the first thing one is supposed to do upon awaking on Chinese New Year is to put something sweet into their mouth so as to have a sweet new year.

This morning (as in every morning), it was Listerine.

I think I have a cavity now as one my upper molars is aching.

D'oh!

Cinco Anos

At the close of business tomorrow, I will have worked here for 5 years.

I just got back from an after-lunch walk as I was feeling quite stuffed. I did think about the job and what it's brought me but it was fleeting. I let random images, thoughts and memories float across the eyes.

As peristalsis kicked it, I felt better and started an internal campaign for walk more often.

I'm done raging.

hahahahahaha.....Full Tilt crashed!

Apolitical

For most of my life, that was one of many adjectives that describes me. Nowadays, I'm becoming a baby-killing-left-winger, so those hateful-deluded-right-wingers would have you think. Really, it's my watching A Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report that I've gotten more politically sensitive about this beloved country of mine.

In a CNN online article today: "Romney took aim at McCain's past record of teaming up with Democrats on campaign finance reform, immigration legislation,...an energy cap and trade-bill."

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT?

I would hope that my elected representative would work together to stamp out lobbyists whose bosses are the fucking wealthy because legislation usually don't help the public. I'm willing to bet that there isn't one $2,000+ tailored suit wearing sumbitch in D.C. working to get health insurance for the uninsured or to lower the cost of healthcare.

Both sides probably have good ideas that, if meshed together, could keep this country from being a sponge for immigrants. It's unfair to the illegals that they're doing the shit jobs that fat, lazy and poorly-educated Americans won't do. Instead of working the unpaid border patrol, pick some fucking fruits, veggies or cotton.

There's got to be something wrong with alternative fuels because only the leftists and hippies are into that shit. Conservatives don't believe in conservatism. The status quo of gas-guzzlers canNOT be messed with. We must preserve and CONSERVE our right to maintain our addiction. What a travesty to see a fucking hippy driving them fairy-ass gas-sippers! Real God-fearing-STD-carrying men drive pick-ups and monster trucks!

The essence of outsourcing is someone offering to do it better and cheaper. Broke-ass foreigners, who worked hard to earn their degrees, are willing to get the job done even at a lower price. But these stupid jerks wished they was Americans so they takes our American jobs that I can't do. That's just messed up. Go back to where yous was and learn to love our American french fries!

While Rodney continues to be an idiot and get hisself in trouble, his famous question remains unanswered and ignored: why can't we just get along?

"Seriously" - asked/answered/commented by Meredith Grey

Obama, Hilary and Johnnie E were getting along. Then BLAM!. Each one of them wanted to the choke the shit out of the other. John McC is getting blasted for wanting to work with his fellow Americans? While I might not agree with a bunch of his positions, I don't see how I'm convinced to vote for Mighty Cap Gun Hunter Mitty.

I'm secretly wishing that Bloomie and Hagel will get together and make a run for 1600 PA Ave.

In the meantime, I continue to daydream like John Dorian.

So far, so good....

It is now the 40th hour mark. I am faring much better than last year. It's probably because my will is stronger. Though I will admit to wanting to just give it up for a smooth toke or five.

Today's lunch coma is more pronounced that yesterday's. I think it's the body wondering where all the nicotine and seeing as there's no new supply, it's allowing the body to power down. In fact, I nodded off several times while writing this.

I'm awake now as work is slowly piling up. The new guy is taking a different approach this year and promised the Penguin that we'll put on $100 (a personal goal that I reached by June 30, 2007). However, given the current environment, the $50-$50 split may not be so easy. Plus, given my competitiveness, I'd probably want to close at least $75 just to keep my shine.

It's mighty cold today, so please get wrapped up.

Last day

And I'm actually in the office at 815AM. That's because I got home at 700AM this morning after yet another marathon of rubbing tiles with the family, 16 on both Saturday and Sunday nights. Strangely, I'm awake but feel quite wired and I'm abstaining from caffeinated beverages. I think the four cups of noir is still working.

It's a beautiful morning with the overnight showers having moved into the Atlantic Ocean. The cold crisp winter air is so clean that I'm filling my lungs. But not fully. I'm quite motivated this morning to finally quit smoking. In the past, I've always rationalized that I'm only going to stop as I will smoke again after certain events. However, recent research has moved me towards fully embracing the complete and total cessation of the habit.

It will certainly be a trying January 2008 as last January was really fucking hard. I wanted to rip people's faces off, especially in the office. I think the difference is I wanted to stop last year whereas I believe I NEED to stop. Period.

So I ask my friends who read this to bear with me and to encourage me to stay clean. Thank you in advance. Have a wonderful forthcoming 2008!

The Rationale:

• Life gets better because we become older, supposedly wiser and more aware.
• Smoking will shorten it worse than the other diseases because it was self-inflicted.
• Don't be a stupid ass anymore.

Cheers!

This Year's Eve

Will be the 21st consecutive Eve on which I could be partying. There's a slight possibility that I will. However, I also don't want to do anything. The proverbial "been there, done that" is making a strong case to just stay in and relax. Perhaps if the Eve were a Thursday, I would probably get myself out there and tear it up a bit. One day to recover isn't a lot at my age. I don't want to have residuals on Wednesday as I stroll into the office. It doesn't help that I haven't done any work since the end of November.

Hopefully, I'll get the next 3 DVDs from Netflix on Monday. I might just open a bottle of my favorite cabernet and fire up a ribeye. That's sounding like a good idea.

What are fellow bloggers doing this coming Monday?

Ho ho ho...hum....

Just two months ago, the whips were cracking and we were behind budget. Was told to put $32.5 on, so my boss and I got cracking. Three weeks later, we had $30.5 set up. Booya!

Right after Thanksgiving, the powers-that-be must have ingested some funky-ass grub laced with retardness because they told us to do nothing until 2 January 2008. Huh?

Apparently, the loan-to-deposit ratio will get skewed and that will mess with some other metric and blah, blah, blah.

Since then it's been reading the New York Times, working on various levels of difficulty of Sudoku, Full-Tilting, blogging, online shopping and chatting. Also, there are those silly applications on Facebook to play with and Stumble, a great nifty toolbar thingy to numb the ennui.

Even then, there's only so much anti-short-attention-span pills one can take.

While I shouldn't complain about having to do nothing and getting paid, the crappy part is having to suit up Monday to Thursday to do nothing. Boo!

Happy Holidays!

Update

While they've hid the sign, the 2-for-$3 sale was still on. And they corrected the $3.29. I paid $3.25 for two sausage egg mcmuffins today at that silly McDonald's in Chinatown.

YAY!

Subway Sardines

Four years ago, I left Manhattan to become a Brooklynite again. The daily commute was easy as it is 1 local and 3 express stops. My hours were 9 to 5, then 9 to 6 but it didn't bother me. Occasionally, I'd quip about the funk of getting onto the express train. I thought it was crowded then.

Holy smokes! It's much worse today. I'd estimate a 25% increase, easily. As I was filing up the staircase this morning, I wondered if there was an opposite or negative or mirror word for "serendipity". I searched for a word while musing if moving work hours to 830-530 was actually an unintended good thing but suck balls because:

-I grown fond of sleeping and am often late. I stroll in around 930 and could care less what they say;
-being on the platform at 740AM under the new hours was crowd-light and, occasionally, I saw my cousin taking her daughter to school; and,
-there was a cutie who I think I knew from grade school but couldn't be sure. Eventually, she stopped showing up and I presumed that she moved.

Since Monday, I found myself back on the old 9-to-5 schedule AND when I was on time. Holy smokes, it was packed.

What will it be like in another 4 years? I would dread having to push myself to 8 to 6 hours just the avoid the morning rush.

Who saw Nip/Tuck last night? Aren't the writers doing a fabulous job this season? Also, which Beauty and the Geek would you vote for? It's a toss-up for me.

McDonalds Update

I finally made it to the other McDonalds this morning. I didn't see a sign up so I asked the woman behind the counter if the special was still on. This is her reply:

"Yes, but it's 2 for $4 here."

Wonderful!

Chinatown McDonalds

This morning I went to the McDonalds on Bowery Street to get 2 sausage egg mcmuffin for $3 as has been advertised on television. When the manager (so she seems since she wasn't sporting any standard fry girl or big mac gear) told me the cost was $3.57, I knew something was wrong. Despite a large sign behind the counter clearly stating that it was 2 for $3, she said that the register was showing $3.29 plus $0.28 in tax. She couldn't do anything about it but said that I could order something else or pay $2.59 for one sandwich.

Since it's been a while, I paid the $3.57. Plus, my friend rolled her eyes and said "it's only 30 cents more." Still, it's the principal. When I got home, I realized that I should have asked for a receipt.

I'm going to the other McDonalds in the Chinatown tomorrow morning to see if they're charging $3.57 too. If so, I'm definitely asking for a receipt.

Two fingers in the nose and pull...

I want to rip this guy's face off this morning. The sonofabitch doesn't seem to want to do any critical credit analysis of proposals written up by myself or my boss or my other sales colleagues. Rather, his modus operandi is to point out negative comments from external sources and to embellish with his broken English. How the fuck are we going to get things done if he "recommends" deals but litters his write-up with fuck-shit-up bombs? This guy doesn't seem to understand nor grasp the idea that if deals get done and the portfolio grows, everyone gets paid. Stupid fuck.

By the way, his name is Geoffrey. I think it means "Get fucked by me" and "I'm just a cocksucker." Either way, I'll gladly welcome suggestions on how to rearrange his fucking face and/or to boot him from the company.

0.8 Chic

As usual, I glance around the subway car to see what folks are there and what they might be doing. Then I return to reading the Times. This morning, a mother was nervously watching three kids (presumably hers since they looked varied in age). Upon my arrival, I glimpsed a woman dolled up with neatly coiffed hair just above her set scarf over her peacoat shouldering her Tumi (I'm guessing here) tote bag while donning jeans and pointed shoes. As my standards are low, I'd probably hit it.

Going with the exiting flow, I found myself behind her and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't hit it. Why? Because she didn't smell nice. In fact, she didn't have any scent to go with her chic-ness. Thus, 0.8 is subtracted.

As some friends told me once, you need to have standards, even the bare minimum. For me, it would be a mild and positive scent.

The Force wasn't strong enough until...

I accosted these rebel scums...

Threatening them with imprisonment, I was bribed....


Then I needed a cigarette...

Happy Halloween!

Da Duck gets LAMER...

In today's USAToday (online edition), I read this:

"President Bush accused Democratic lawmakers on Friday of wasting time by passing legislation to expand children's health coverage, knowing that he would veto it again. At the same time, he criticized Congress for failing to approve spending bills to keep the government running."

Let me see if I got my politics and angles correct...

Republicans are for a smaller government and lower taxes. Why then is he spending lots of our tax dollars to build the government, entailing an excessive amount of bureaucracy? Furthermore, a shitload of money is shifted to defense from programs that help our fellow Americans. So....why won't this fuckhead expand health coverage to our impoverished kids?

Possible explanation...
He is spending stupendous amounts of money (without raising taxes, I'll get to this later) on defense so that terrorists can't harm our sick and needy kids. He is protecting these kids' rights to suffer from (i) the lack of medical treatment and (ii) repetitive Nyquil/Robitussin dosing. To emphasis his benevolence, he has blocked or severely limited research into promising stem cell developments to cure sicknesses and diseases. The voice of God in his gut told him that he is the Decider and so he hath decided that these needy Americans need his ignorance and neglect to understand the suffering of Jesus Christ. After all, his evangelical base tells him that Rapture is soon upon us and that these ailing fools will be amongst the first welcomed into JC's bosom.

If the Rapture doesn't come for several decades, the neglected children will surely grow up and become a part of the massive labor force dedicated to paying off the debt burden he hath decided to unleash onto all Americans.

He is the coolest and smartest deciding fucking Duck. EVER!

Boston Legit

Right after watching Infernal Affairs 2 and 3, I popped open a Blue Moon and kicked back to watch Beauty and The Geek and Boston Legal that I DVR'ed. The smooth buzz came on just before Boston Legal started.

I am a fan of Spader's Shore. When the alchyhall hit, my random thoughts gathered and formed dreamlike profiles. Shore's current (and past) infatuation, Lorraine, reminds me a woman whose neck and legs, have delighted my innards, and she is also in the law business. I don't speak gibberish when around her but I so dig her being a blue-collar football-loving appropriately-cussing babe.

Shore's boss, Shirley, continues to evoke comparisons with a beloved friend who likes to control her environment. And similarly, she's in a relationship where she's "allowing" herself to be swayed by "allowing" him to be there. Regardless, there's a glow and the incandescence is growing. Cheers!

Certainly, the alcohol was flowing as I thought about how I was a bitch to someone recently. Just Friday night, I made a comment into space and she claimed that she wasn't a culprit. I rolled my eyes and said "I wasn't talking to you...the world doesn't revolve around you...it ain't all about you." I wondered if I should apologize.

As I write this, my feeling is: she can bite me. The infatuation is gone and I enjoyed it while it lasted. I won't "allow" myself to be warped by her. Otherwise, my private "Shirley" would slap me upside my head.

Movie review:
Infernal Affairs 2: wasn't a bad movie; reminded me a bit of Michael Corleone's consolidation of power
Infernal Affairs 3: should have been called "Madness Descent" and was sort of all over the place.

Kelly Chen is fantastically cute. Sammi Cheng was cuter when she was fuller. The American version sucked.