We should all be happy that the wonderful Triple-H (Hot, Hazy & Humid) days have arrived to our beautiful wilting Apple. The women are in skimpy clothes. People's faces are shades of pink and red as most forget to use SPF. They're so unlucky compared to me as I continue to get jazzed up in the mornings donning my tie and suit. After all, the recently introduced new trains spit out freezing air that so irk the barely-dressed female commuters. Pobre mujeres.
The heat does have drawbacks. First, I have to take cold showers in the morning and when I get home. Second, it causes my electricity bill to drastically increase as roaming spirits in my apartment scrawl on the walls for me to blast the air conditioning lest they tossed items at me. Thirdly, I can't sleep bundled in my comforter.
On the bright side, my appetite for spiced foods has soared. I get to use lots of napkins to wipe my mouth and waves of sweat. The frostbite epidemic will be kept at bay. Should it get any hotter, folks will not drive and, thus, create the low demand that will lower gas prices as inventory builds. Lives will be saved as who wants to shoot bullets and explode bombs. Life's a beach and we should all head there for breasts and volleyball.
This global warming hypothesis is crap conjured up by fascist liberals who are educated unshaven and assertive women and men like that who like other men; hate America; and, blaspheme God's great representatives such as Pat Robertson and George W. Bush. But that's cool as this heat is a prelude to their damnation in Hell.
Note: heat does cause circuitry to cross, send wrong signals and burn out.
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