Though many family members and friends meant well, their words and actions were either misinterpreted or just came out wrong. Before my aunt passed away, a few came by to visit when she was conscious. They questioned her on why she would do such a "dumb thing", doesn't she "feel guilty" for putting her family through this and groped at her amputated leg. As we all wanted to know why, all the cousins seemed to be able to hold their tongues on those aspects and tried to be positive. BUT, the elders hammered at her. It drove my cousins and I mad.
DAMMIT! She was hurting already and professing her apologies and confessing her pain which we, the Americanized cousins, heard and told her it was okay and that she'll get better. Why can't the elders for all their frigging wisdom just keep their traps shut? I am particularly upset with another aunt who had a silly long-standing beef with Aunt RIP. I recall at the hospital where she was there for the "last visit" talking crap and then faking sympathies. Grrrrr......
A serious generation and tradition gap surely existed in full force during that tough week. I see it in the funeral arrangements too. I just don't get the politics of elder traditions. I take some blame for being too American.
I would say or do something but have resisted. I hope I can maintain this stance at the wake and funeral this week. Thanks to all those conveying their condolescences.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
sometimes people just don't understand depression. i think that applies to all cultures and generations.
don't be too upset with them. while i'm sure your aunt may have been affected by the insensitive questions, i'm sure the comfort you and your cousins provided spoke volumes.
merci beaucoup
Post a Comment